Chapter 25: Let’s apologize
——So, punishment has finally come. It’s the retribution for being able to do whatever she wanted.
——That’s perfect. Nobody will sympathize with you.
——Those who cannot consider others’ feelings will never be loved by anyone.
“Annoying, irritating, irritating!! I know that…!”
Alone in my room, I claw at my beautiful amber-colored hair in frustration. These are not delusions, but the words spoken to me while I am being judged.
“No…I am not the same person I was back then…”
I repeat these words like a mantra, placing my hand on my heart and consciously taking slow breaths.
Today, I lost my temper without meaning to. I never intended to act that way towards Julian-sama, but I was caught off guard and angry. What was I thinking?
In the past, I had a way of dealing with this anger. I vented it on others. I bullied and scorned those I disliked to relieve my own frustration.
“I truly am the worst…”
Looking back now, I can’t help but feel sorry for myself. Maybe everyone was right, I was never loved by anyone. If I weren’t the Duke’s daughter of the Quatra family and engaged to Julian-sama, nobody would have even given me a second glance.
My appearance was all I had, my inside was empty.
“…If it’s empty, I just have to fill it up from now on.”
I wiped away my tears with my hand and looked up. I’ve regretted it countless times for the past two years. I can’t just live like a weeping child anymore.
“I’ll become a kind lady who can sympathize with people’s hearts!”
I’ve said this to myself so many times since my life was turned upside down. With a snort, I thrust my fist straight up towards the sky.
“But first, I need to apologize. I have to apologize to Julian-sama about today.”
I took out a stationery with a floral pattern from the desk and shook my head as I held the pen. I’ve never written an apology letter in my entire life.
Even if I do something like this, I’m afraid I’ll be told again, “Your actions don’t match your heart.”
But what Julian-sama said is right. I’m just desperately trying to be a good person.
“It’s not always easy to get things right…”
As I murmured those words, my hand trembled and the ink on the paper smeared. I quickly replaced it with a new sheet of paper.
The next day, feeling inspired, I went straight to the villa where Julian-sama lived. He usually lived in a separate villa close to the palace. All of his siblings lived in the palace, but I envied Julian-sama for having such freedom.
Being able to do as you please where your parents can’t see you is the best environment.
“Aliseteen.”
“I apologize for the sudden visit, Julian-sama. I just wanted to apologize for yesterday.”
While I grinned, Julian-sama had his usual poker face. But at least he let me in, so it seemed like he wasn’t angry.
A variety of colorful sweets are lined up one after another in front of me as I am led into the reception room. The simple yet tasteful teacups and saucers also catch my eye.
“That, Julian-sama, is…”
“It’s an apology from yesterday.”
“An apology? But why?”
I am the one who should apologize for my disrespectful attitude towards his Highness the Prince, not him. Besides, Julian-sama would never do such a thing to me.
“Because I hurt you.”
Julian-sama’s gray eyes tremble ever so slightly. I am also shaken and can only manage to express my gratitude with a single word.
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