Chapter 30: End of the Dream
By the time I finished hearing Ralph’s story, tears were streaming down my eyes.
His past was too painful. And I understood everything. The reason why Ralph thinks of me so much, the reason why he tries to protect me, everything.
“I’m sorry. . .”
By defending him that day, I burdened him with guilt for such a long time. And in this third life, I involved him and showed him two deaths.
Perhaps it was because he wished to see me that he ended up living for such a long time.
I know that neither I nor he are at fault. Yet, I couldn’t help but apologize.
──I always thought that I was the only one suffering. Why am I the only one going through such hardships?
But surely, Ralph must have suffered even more than me. Five hundred years is surely much longer and more painful than I can imagine.
And yet, he still thinks of me and tries to protect me. Surely, to the point of sacrificing himself.
I wiped away my tears and enveloped Ralph’s hand with both of mine. And for some reason, he opened his beautiful eyes in surprise.
“Is it not repulsive to you?”
And because he voiced such a question, I immediately shook my head from side to side. There’s no way I would find it repulsive.
“I have been fixated on you for such a long time. I know it’s abnormal.”
“It’s not like that,”
“. . .But I always thought that I was chasing after Erica-san’s shadow.”
Ralph gently narrowed his amethyst-like eyes and smiled with a face that seemed on the verge of tears. “But, I was wrong.”
“In this life, I love you, Lisette-sama.”
Upon hearing those words, my vision blurred once again.
“I think no matter how many times I repeat it, no matter how many times we meet, I will always fall in love with you.”
“. . .!”
Before I knew it, I was embracing Ralph.
For a moment, he seemed startled and his body trembled, but eventually, he clung to me as if seeking support.
“. . .I’m truly sorry. Because I protected you, because of the way I died, I’ve caused you so much suffering for such a long time.”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
“And thank you. Thank you for trying to help me, for cherishing me. You’ve been working so hard all alone.”
Occasionally, I think that the discomfort and difference in values I felt towards Ralph might be because my heart is on the verge of breaking from living through long and painful times.
I can’t see his expression because I’m holding him tightly, but I noticed that he’s crying now.
“I love you.”
“Yeah.”
“I really, truly love you. . .”
I think I’m starting to love Ralph as well.
Facing absolute death, I thought that my heart might waver and be swayed by being pampered and extended a helping hand.
But now that I know everything, I can clearly say that he is dear to me.
“. . .Thank you, Ralph.”
Whispering those words, I gently stroked his soft silver hair.
❂❂❂❂❂❂
Four days have passed since then. We have been spending time in this prison, just like before.
The only thing that has changed is the sense of distance. Perhaps there has been a change in my own feelings. Somehow, it feels like the distance between everything has narrowed compared to before.
Just a little more until my birthday. During these four days, I have been thinking about what I should do. And knowing Ralph’s feelings, I didn’t want to put him in danger or let him die.
That’s why I thought we should have a proper conversation, leave this place, and seek the help of the saints.
As I was about to start the conversation, he spoke first.
“Lisette-sama, I have a request.”
“A request?”
“Yes.”
With an unusually serious expression, he said that, making me anxious about what might have happened. To me, he continued.
“Just once, may I kiss you?”
“. . .Huh?”
I realized that my face was getting hot in an instant due to the sudden words I hadn’t even imagined. Seeing me flustered by the sudden request, he furrowed his eyebrows in a troubled manner.
“Of course, if you even slightly dislike it, please refuse.”
“I-I don’t dislike it, but. . .”
I felt embarrassed by how quickly I answered. Of course, I didn’t dislike it. Ralph, after showing a surprised expression at my reaction, smiled very happily.
“I’m really happy. Thank you very much.”
“. . .Yeah.”
“Could you close your eyes?”
“O-Okay.”
As instructed, when I closed my eyes, Ralph’s hand gently reached out and touched my cheek after a short while.
For some reason, I felt like crying at his overly gentle touch.
“I love you, Lisette-sama.”
Our lips met, and at the same time, I felt a sense of happiness. It was the moment when I realized once again that I loved him.
Something viscous flowed into my mouth, and in an instant, my eyelids became incredibly heavy.
When our lips parted, Ralph gently stroked my cheek.
“Wh-What is this. . .?”
“By the time you wake up next, Lisette-sama, there will be nothing for you to fear.”
It was too late when I understood that it was a stronger sleeping drug than the one used when I was brought here last time. The world in front of me grew dark.
In order to save me, he intended to sacrifice himself. I didn’t want such a thing.
“Goodnight, Lisette-sama.”
“. . .!”
I couldn’t even speak anymore. Even though I wanted to scream that I didn’t want this, my body wouldn’t move. I haven’t even conveyed anything to him yet.
“I love you.”
With his voice as the last thing I heard, my consciousness abruptly faded away.
