𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟖

My conversation with my grandfather was over, and Chris had come to pick me up as I left the audience room.

Seeing Chris’ worried face, my nervous feelings relaxed a bit.

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“Are you okay?”

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“. . .Hmm. Hey, Chris. Can we take a walk before going back to the room?”

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“Huh? Ah, it’s still early for dinner, so a little walk is fine.”

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As dusk approached, the two of us walked down the hallway, which had become less crowded.

From a distance, I sensed the shadows of Yun and Dana following us.

We went out into the courtyard and walked to a place near the castle walls.

We reached a terrace overlooking the city streets and sat down on a bench that was there.

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“Coming all the way to this place, what’s going on?

What was the talk with His Majesty about?”

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“Yeah. Just wait a moment. Yun, Dana, I’m going to put up a barrier, but don’t worry.

It’s just that I have something to talk to Chris about.”

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“Eh? Wait, what’s going on?”

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Ignoring Chris’ panic, I created a large hemispherical barrier around Chris and myself.

It would be visible from the outside, but the conversation shouldn’t be heard.

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I didn’t know if there was anything that would be troublesome if overheard by the shadows.

Still, there might be a chance of touching on Chris’ personal matters, 

So I thought it best to make sure no one could hear us.

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“Hey, Chris. Did you realize that you were chosen as my escort knight,

Because you were a candidate for my consort?”

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“. . .Ah, so that’s what being summoned by His Majesty was about.

I had realized.

Kyle and I were chosen as consort candidates.

That’s why, initially, I intended to quit being an escort knight before the Princess grew up.”

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“Eh?”

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“I wasn’t supposed to become an escort knight until the Princess was twelve.

Until then, I was supposed to be training with the shadows.

Even if I had finished my training and become the Princess’s personal escort knight, 

I planned to quit and run away before being chosen as a consort candidate.

I thought that if I trained with the shadows, I would gain enough strength to escape.”

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“Why? Did you not want to be my consort candidate?”

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“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be the Princess’ consort candidate.

I thought that way before I met the Princess.

Hey, look at me. Don’t you feel something strange?”

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“Strange? You mean your appearance? Chris, you’re beautiful, aren’t you?

I think you’re much more beautiful than me.”

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Chris was supposed to turn twenty-seven this year, but his appearance hasn’t changed much since we met.

Kyle, who had the body of a boy just like him,

Became muscular and robust as he grew into a young man,

But Chris has remained androgynous and can still look like a girl.

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“I never developed as a man.

That is, I can’t have children. I can’t be a consort.”

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I was speechless at this shocking confession.

He didn’t develop as a man? So he’s remained with a boy’s body all this time?

That’s why his physique was completely different from his brother Denis’.

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“That’s why I was sent away from the Duke family even though I’m the eldest son.

Normally, the eldest son of a noble family gets a partner when they reach adulthood.

If you can’t have children, the family won’t survive, so it’s crucial.

But I never became an adult.

My father gave up on me, who didn’t grow at all even after entering the academy.

I’m a failure, so the Duke family will be inherited by Denis.”

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Chris’ voice, wrung out as if hurting himself, seemed to be wounding Chris himself.

I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to talk about it, but I knew I had to listen.

I felt that I had to listen and move forward.

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“I was considered unnecessary because I couldn’t have children.

At first, I was sullen, and I didn’t feel like trying hard at the academy.

When I saw Kyle, who was also considered unnecessary by his family, working hard,

I realized that I shouldn’t stay this way.

I thought I would abandon the Duke family before they abandoned me.

So I began to strive desperately.

Well, I couldn’t beat Kyle in the end, and I graduated as the second seat.”

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I knew that Kyle was the top student and Chris was the second, 

But I heard from Kyle that they didn’t talk to each other at the academy.

I hadn’t thought Chris was so conscious of Kyle.

Chris, who talked about not being able to beat Kyle, seemed a little joyful.

Perhaps he thinks that itself is a good memory.

But his expression soon returned to a painful look.

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“My father probably regretted abandoning me when he found out I would graduate as second seat.

I was told to assist Denis, but I didn’t want to be used by the Duke family.

Line-sensei offered me work at the palace, and I jumped at the opportunity.

Anything was fine if I could leave the Duke family.

I realized that it was to be Princess Sofia’s consort candidate and thought I had to run away.”

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“Because of the body that can’t have children?”

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“Yes. Because I’m a failure.

I would be useless as a consort in that sense.”