𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟖𝟔: 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐕𝐨𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐲𝐯𝐞𝐫 – 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏
Marion was given that name and grew up quickly, and it’s already been twenty-six years.
I think to myself that I’ve lived longer than I expected.
I had no idea where my life would end up.
I figured I would meet a meaningless end—those were my thoughts.
ㅤ
When I was Princess Marion, I only felt pain living in women’s clothing, constantly fighting with my mother.
After my mother died, and I began to live as a knight named Leon・Von・Montyver, I realized that I was protected by the temporary guise of Princess Marion.
ㅤ
After losing the support of my mother and stopping being Princess Marion, my life was targeted.
I knew the reason without asking.
There was no male heir carrying the king’s bloodline except for the crown prince Engelbert.
Since I appeared suddenly, they must have felt threatened.
There might have been people who were suspicious, but even if I accused them, no one wouldn’t believe it.
The other side was much smarter and had absolute power.
I never thought about escaping from here and living freely.
Those raised in the royal palace are, so to speak, like weak birds in a cage.
Even if they manage to fly out of the cage, they are like birds with clipped wings and will be caught and eaten by snakes or sewer rats. Similarly, I, who do not know how to live outside the palace, would probably be found by bad people and used.
The more I struggled, the more futile it was.
All I could do was be careful not to die from the poison that had been instilled in me, and be on guard not to be killed.
In other words, I thought that maintaining the status quo was the greatest happiness in my life as Leon・Von・Montyver.
ㅤ
The one who diligently visited the Marchioness, who had lost her granddaughter Irma was me because I wanted to repay the favor my mother had received.
My mother had kept the Marchioness by her side as a maid for many years, and she seemed to be the only person she trusted with her heart.
I myself had been taken great care of by her, having my diapers changed and being cared for during my nightly cries.
By the time I had become conscious of the world around me, she had already retired as a maid, but it seemed the relationship had continued as a tea-drinking friend of my mother.
My mother’s will said, “I want you to become the new friend of the Marchioness.”
I had been visiting reluctantly, but it seemed that my true intentions were seen through.
The Marchioness’ attitude was cool.
Honestly, I was worried if we could become close, but in the end, the Marchioness gave in.
As I became a regular visitor to the Marquis’ house, I was introduced to Irma.
She was very bright and cheerful, and the kind of girl liked by many people.
I learned that if I behaved like Irma, my relationships with others would go smoothly.
Along the way, the Marchioness cautioned me, “Could you please not show Irma a sweet face?”
Apparently, Irma had developed feelings for me. “Because you are kind, Irma has fallen in love with you,” I was told.
I had no such intention at all. . . . . .
Irma was diligently training to be a bride to marry Engelbert. Little did I know that I would be confronted and asked to take responsibility.
Of course, I declined politely.
I thought of her as a cute younger sister, but had never seen her as a marriage partner.
If we were to marry, she might become a target for assassination.
That was something I absolutely wanted to avoid.
Although I refused many times, Irma seemed to never give up persuading her mother, the Marquis, and the Marchioness.
In the end, the Marchioness asked me to be a temporary fiancé until Irma gave up.
For about a year, Irma’s chronic illness had been getting worse, and she was told that she wouldn’t live long.
She asked me to indulge her temporary dream, and I could not refuse.
So, I spent the engagement period with Irma.
The preparations for marriage were in their final stages, and it could not go further.
Nobody seemed to intend to tell Irma the truth. Then, I would have to tell Irma directly that the pretend engagement was over.
When I did it, perhaps because it was when she had confessed, the atmosphere was terrible.
Later, I thought I would send an apology letter. Once the dust had settled, I would arrange to send her favorite flowers.
But Irma died.
She slipped at the edge of the lake and never came back.
The knights’ investigation said it was an accident, but Irma probably threw herself into the lake.
I felt guilty and had no face to show the Marchioness.
But I was asked directly by the Marquis to encourage her, so I eventually started visiting the Marchioness again.
Having lost Irma, the Marchioness was living in despair.
She was breathing and eating, but there was no light in her eyes, and she seemed dead.
Her condition continued even after losing Irma.
Exchanging one or two words, parting after short conversations.
Such fruitless, barren tea parties were repeated.
The reason I didn’t get tired of my time with the Marchioness was probably because I felt we were very much alike.
It was a moment when those who were strongly aware of death and lived in despair quietly confirmed each other’s existence.
ㅤ
I thought that the barren tea parties with the Marchioness would continue.
Until “Lara” appeared.
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