Chapter 10: What should I do
There is a phrase that I repeated over and over again on my deathbed.
“I am not at fault, it’s everyone else’s fault.”
As someone who was raised to be like a butterfly or a flower, I never even considered the possibility that I might have flaws.
Even when I covered a disliked classmate in mud, I remember saying, “It’s your fault for making me do this.”
At the time, I truly believed that.
But if I were to continue living with the same thought process, I would inevitably be condemned.
I understand my own personality better than anyone else. I am arrogant, selfish, and self-centered.
Since I never faced any problems because of that, I never thought to change. But if it means avoiding a death like that, I will change myself.
Perhaps this is the chance that God has given to my foolish self. A chance to start my life over, the first and last chance.
This time, I will definitely become a “good girl.”
Alone in my room, I raised my small and adorable hand to the sky.
“Lili, Lili!”
I rang the bell in my room repeatedly and called out to Lili in a loud voice. She arrived shortly after.
“Good morning, Ojo-sama. How are you feeling today?”
She smiled warmly, as kind as ever. I can’t help but wonder why I fired Lili back then.
“I’m feeling great today. So I’ll have breakfast in the dining room.”
Is this how a five-year-old behaves? It’s difficult to act my age when my mind is that of a sixteen-year-old.
I need to act more childish and stupid.
“Well, that’s good to hear.”
As I watched Lili smile gently, my small heart reacted with a sudden flutter.
Ever since I got into this body, I’ve been feeling strange. Even though my consciousness is that of sixteen-year-old Aliseteen, my body sometimes reacts on its own.
It must be the real five-year-old Aliseteen’s doing.
It’s an indescribable feeling, like having two personalities mixed in one body.
As a five-year-old, I absolutely adored Lili. It was evident in every inch of my body.
“Ojo-sama, how about this outfit for today?”
“Lili, you choose!”
“As you wish.”
Even at that young age, my closet was packed with clothes, dresses, and shoes. Lili chose a cute mint green tulle dress for me.
The moment I saw it, I made a disgusted face.
“I hate that color. I want something more girly.”
“Oh, is that so? I thought it would look great on you.”
Without any complaints, Lili picked out another dress for me, even though it was me who had told her to choose.
But in the end, I kept criticizing everything she picked because none of them seemed right to me. It was all Lili’s fault for not choosing what I wanted.
Wrapped in a bright pink, frilly dress, I nodded along with my thoughts until I suddenly realized something.
“Oh no, what have I done? This doesn’t look good!”
And then I fell onto my knees in disappointment.
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