𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟖: 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧
His gaze is filled with affection and warmth.
“I knew about you unilaterally. I saw you holding back your tears alone at your father’s funeral, and smiling bravely at Lord Cerrado, who was worried about you being left alone at your husband’s house.”
That day of the funeral.
Theodore-sama was watching me.
“However, I couldn’t speak to you because I couldn’t welcome you. So. . . I decided to desperately build up my territory, hoping that I could be of help to you if you ever got into trouble.”
“Theodore-sama. . .”
He tucked a tassel, tangled in the wind, behind his ear and looked at me.
“Miss Chloe. Actually. . . I visited the magic stone mine in the Strelitzi territory once a year under the pretext of ‘inspection’.”
I widened my eyes.
“I didn’t know.”
“Yes. You wouldn’t have known. . . Every year during the inspection, I just watched you from afar and couldn’t speak to you. Because of my immaturity and incompetence, I couldn’t welcome Miss Chloe and made her suffer. I thought I didn’t deserve to talk to you.”
“No way. . .”
“. . .It’s disgusting, isn’t it?”
Theodore-sama laughed as if mocking himself.
“But. . . I. . . I relied on the once-a-year opportunity to see you, and lived my days as a lord. Seeing you live bravely even when you’re suffering, and working hard to fulfill your role as Countess Strelitzi. . . I tried to be a worthy lord, so as not to shame you.”
“Theodore-sama.”
Unable to bear it, I called his name.
“Could it be. . . the one who polished my father’s grave every year. . . made a large donation to the church that manages it. . . and offered flowers. . . was it you?”
Theodore-sama smiled as if to affirm.
“. . .It’s self-satisfaction.”
I felt a warmth in my chest.
“Every time I saw my father’s grave polished, every time a donation was made to the church or the orphanage affiliated with the church, I was happy to feel that someone was remembering my father and carrying on his thoughts.”
“You were watching.”
“Yes. . . That’s why I also opened a school for the children of the territory, like my father. To be a [Countess] who does not shame the nameless someone who is protecting my father’s grave.”
Without realizing it, I had been encouraged by Theodore-sama all along.
Just as Theodore-sama had been watching me and relying on me.
“Miss Chloe. I love you. I hope you will marry me if possible.”
He looked straight at me and confessed his love to me.
“But I am aware that I have only just started. Please take your time to get to know me and let me hear your answer. Even if you don’t choose me, I will treat you with respect as a tutor. I swear to your father and Simon-dono. . . So, someday. . . I want to hear your answer.”
The wind blows with a rustle.
The surface of the lake ripples, and white petals dance in the wind.
I thought I wanted to watch Theodore-sama’s silver hair sway forever.
Ah, Iーー
“. . .Theodore-sama.”
“Hmm.”
“. . .I don’t understand. I’ve never been in love or anything like that.”
I hold my pounding chest and slowly spin my words.
“I’m sure love is something that drives people beyond reason. . . That’s why my ex-husband loved his mistress, not me. He surpassed reason.”
I do my best to put my current feelings into words.
To respond, even a little, to his serious feelings.
“. . .Theodore-sama is a wonderful person. Such a person piles up words for someone like me, earnestly, seriously, expressing love and thoughts. . . Love must intensely set a person’s heart on fire.”
My chest is hot, and just putting my thoughts into words makes my throat hurt, it’s painful.
Did Theodore-sama also confess to me with the same sweet pain? ーーIf so, I would be happy.
“I have a history of divorce, I’m not young, and I’m not cute. . . Because I’m like that, I think Theodore-sama will soon realize that I’m a boring woman. That’s why I think I shouldn’t accept your favor. I think that’s the reason. . . I think.”
Theodore-sama is looking at me, his eyes wide open.
I wonder what kind of face I’m making. For some reason, I feel like crying.
“I too. . . a little, to you. . . have I been affected? . . . Beyond reason, I am. . .”
“May I touch your cheek?”
Theodore-sama asks quickly. I lower my eyes to his trembling fingers, which are cautiously extended.
His gentle fingertips were trembling.
“. . .Miss Chloe. . . Thank you.”
We spent some time alone together.
The voices of the children running around. His calm demeanor.
All of these are too precious to me. . . They are things I don’t want to let go of. To the point where I want to paint a dream that is beyond my status.
