Chapter 37: From now on, goodbye
After school.
Alma led me to his mansion.
He guided me to his room.
“It’s been a while since you’ve been here, right?”
“. . .Yeah.”
It was my first time here.
But strangely, I felt a sense of nostalgia.
I’m sure Slayer must have visited here when she was with him.
“So, what kind of conversation…”
It was unexpected.
He was standing behind me, and as I turned around, he pulled me in and. . .
Our lips met.
For a few seconds, my thoughts froze.
Before I could push him away, he pushed me down.
“. . .What are you trying to do?”
“You’re the one who said it, right? ‘Make you fall for me.’ That’s why I’m doing this.”
“. . .”
He held down both of my hands and looked down at me as I lay on the bed.
Although my position was disadvantageous, it would be easy to push him away if I wanted to.
While glaring at him, I spoke.
“Do you really think I’ll be happy with this?”
“It’s my job to make you happy. If it’s a relationship between a man and a woman, I think this is one way. I’ll make you satisfied.”
“. . .Satisfied?”
what he was thinking was unclear.
I am being pushed down on the bed.
There is only one possible development after this.
He was serious.
Without showing any ulterior motives, he approached me.
It was unbearable. . .
It was disgusting.
I wanted to push him away at that moment.
I wanted to tell them not to misunderstand.
But, this was the right thing to do.
I am now Flare’s replacement.
In her place, Alma needs to be infatuated with me or else it will be troublesome.
So I made him aware of it.
If he continues to desire me like this, it will be more convenient.
“Slayer.”
His face drew closer.
Yes, this was the best way.
No matter what I thought, in order to achieve my goal. . .
――I bit my lip.
Inside my heart, I felt like my emotions were about to burst out.
Oh, I see.
“. . .it’s still impossible after all.”
“Huh. . .”
My body honestly rejected him.
I untangled his hand and pushed back his approaching chest.
“Slayer?”
“I’m sorry, but getting engaged to you again is just impossible.”
“. . .it’s only been one day, though?”
“Yes, that’s true, but. . .I never had the feeling of wanting to start over from the beginning.”
This plan had failed.
I had prioritized my own emotions over my goal.
Still, strangely, I felt a sense of relief.
I wonder why.
Even though I had failed, there was a part of me that thought this was okay.
“The words ‘I want to start over’. . .”
“It was a lie. I feel sorry about that. I’m sorry.”
I apologized to Alma.
Regardless of the past, this time it was my fault.
I was at fault for not being able to play the role until the end.
I also knew that his actions were the result of him seriously trying to make me fall in love with him.
Even so…
“Alma, I… I can’t develop feelings for you.”
That was the answer.
I had my own preferences too.
Even with beloved stories and their characters, I didn’t love all of them equally.
I may like one character, but not another.
Personal preferences existed.
By meeting face-to-face, and actually interacting, that gap has become even wider.
I didn’t like him much from the beginning.
And now. . .
“I dislike you.”
“――!”
I’ve come to dislike him.
Maybe because I was directly involved?
His fake smile, his attitude, his words. . .everything was disgusting.
It’s not something to direct towards someone I once looked away from and betrayed.
The creepiness was unbearable.
But now. . .I could never be Flare’s substitute again.
I couldn’t think about what to do from now on.
“――I see. I thought so.”
“Huh?”
Alma said that to me with a smile.
Strangely, I didn’t feel any disgust towards that smile.
He continues.
“I always thought you were like me.”
“Me?”
“Yeah.”
He nods and continues.
“Both you and I are attached to where we are now. We value our position and status as nobles. . .we try to protect it. That’s what we have in common.”
“. . .”
I don’t deny it.
Not me, but Slayer was like that.
Certainly, the two of them were similar.
“But suddenly, you changed. You started behaving in an un-noble-like manner. Breaking off the engagement with me was one of them. You seemed like a completely different person.”
“…That’s true, I suppose.”
My heart felt uneasy.
That feeling was correct.
I am. . .not Slayer.
“When you changed, you started acting freely, as if a burden had been lifted. You seemed happy… and when I saw that, my heart felt constricted. I felt somehow denied.”
He believed that showing himself as a noble and protecting it was the most important thing.
He had been consistent with that belief.
And Slayer too. . .although their intentions were different, he was suitable as a noble daughter.
Seeing Slayer changing, he wavered.
Whether our current positions were truly right or not.
Oddly enough, that feeling was similar to the problem he faced when he fell in love with Flare.
“Do you hate me?”
“Yes, I hate you.”
“I see. I’m glad you said it clearly. It feels refreshing somehow.”
Saying that, he laughed.
Again.
This time, it’s surely not a fake smile.
It was a wry smile, but it was genuine.
He only laughed sincerely in front of Flare.
Why was that. . .
“If I were asked whether I like my current self… it’s a complicated question.”
“. . .even for yourself?”
“Yeah. I can’t be confident. . .so I’m probably wrong. The way I am now. . .”
“Isn’t it wrong?”
“Are you saying that? From my perspective, it’s because you’re here now that I think that way.”
Seeing me change so much, Alma thought.
“If you can change, maybe I’ll. . .rethink what it means to be myself too.”
“――!”
Yes, I hope so.
Just like the words he spoke in front of Flare at the end of the story.
“Hehe, I think it’s good. It’s also very much like you.”
“Like me. It’s the first time I’ve been told that.”
“I won’t say it again.”
“I understand. This is goodbye for us.”
“Yes, goodbye.”
Our story ends here.
There is no continuation.
If anything, we will each go our separate ways.
We may cross paths, but we won’t overlap again.
