Chapter 53│Read translated stories and daily updates at: Awebstories.com
While playing the piano, Miri suddenly clutched her head and said, “I want to die. I want to die.”
With a truly pained expression on her face, she screams in agony and takes a poison, opens the lid of the bottle, and sips the liquid.
I called the doctor in a hurry when I saw Miri, who collapsed shortly afterwards.
—It seems she was just sleeping.
Anna came to me and apologized.
She said that she had given Miri sleeping pills because she thought she would want to die if her memory came back.
She said that she had a bad premonition when she saw how fast she was growing, but I was impressed that he was so tactful.
Lying in bed, Miri wakes up shortly after.
“…I-I’m still alive, aren’t I?”
“Miri! You’re such an idiot!”
I scold Miri with a loud voice.
She really worries me.
Just when I thought she was finally ready to talk about things, she says something stupid like she wants to die.
“Onesama, I, I, I’ve always had a bad feeling about Charlotte-onesama… I never thought anything of Charlotte-onesama. No, not only that. All my life, I have lived without thinking. I am so ashamed of it. I just want to disappear…”
Miri is ashamed of her past actions… She wants to die.
I understand how she feels, but I know from my contact with Miri that she was not selfish with malicious intent.
It is natural for her to be ashamed of her actions now that she has learned to judge right from wrong.
But she forgot something very important.
“Miri, you’re ashamed of your actions, but you don’t seem to be able to reflect on them.”
“O-Onesama? I-I am ashamed of what I have done. That’s why I want to disappear and die—.
“No. You regret it, but you are not sorry. Because remorse means looking at the past and trying not to repeat it. It is not about saying out loud that you want to escape.”
I know that Miri is in pain.
But this is the moment when she can change.
If she could choose to grit her teeth and still live with the shame she is being subjected to, she may be able to see a new life.
“Onesama… I, I! I will change! One day I will take on any sin, no matter how painful, so that one day I can become a lady like Charlotte-onesama!”
Miri’s eyes lit up with an intensity I had never seen before, as she assured me that she would change.
I believe she will be fine.
I am sure that one day she will be a lady of the highest caliber.
It has been about half a year since Miri attempted suicide.
The Arzel and Duke families of Ezersta were mercilessly crushed. The father and mother returned to Ezersta and became commoners, and I heard that Leanhardt-sama was imprisoned because of a dispute with the royal family.
Even after his release, Ermhartd-sama did not want to return to his homeland, so he sold his clothes and used the money to rent farm equipment and some land to grow delicious potatoes.
I didn’t know that he had studied agriculture professionally.
“It’s already been three months since Miri started her training to become a Sister.”
“Her attitude of staying in solitary confinement for about three months and quietly awaiting the outcome of the trial gave her some leeway for extenuating circumstances, but I guess she had already decided to give up her aristocratic status. According to what I’ve heard, she has a good reputation even over there.
Miri went to the monastery of her own choice as an apprentice sister.
They say she prays earnestly every day to God and works hard to help those who are seeking salvation.”
“You wanted her to come to our wedding, didn’t you?”
“Yes, But I respected her wishes. Miri has moved on with her life. I’m not worried anymore and I’m going to take care of my own life.”
I take Alfred’s hand in mine and step into the cathedral.
I take a deep breath of happiness that I have made it to this day in one piece…