My Children Swarm the Cosmos – Chapter 2

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐳 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 (2)

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

Bioweapon

The term “bioweapon” refers to a living organism that is employed as a weapon.

Today, there are numerous weapons in the world, but the majority of them are based on metal, computers, machinery, and artificial intelligence. The reason humans use such weapons is straightforward:

Bioweapons are difficult to control.

Using a non-human organism as a weapon is a concept that is fundamentally different from the military dogs or horses of the past.

Today’s bioweapons, depending on their type, can tear apart armored vehicles or, in sufficient numbers, annihilate an entire country.

Since there is no guarantee of control over such weapons, everyone is hesitant about them. As a result, the development of bioweapons, biological weapons, and other weaponized artificial life forms is subject to stringent international oversight and monitoring.

Therefore, the weaponization of living organisms is currently only being pursued by a small number of organizations.

Among those few organizations, the most prominent on a global scale is undoubtedly the Darwin Foundation.

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

The black armor worn by Experimental Subject 412 is peculiar.

It seems to have been designed through bioengineering to thinly envelop his entire body, yet its sharp and jagged texture strangely resembles the carapace of the bioweapon he wields.

Experimental Subject 412, clad in black armor from head to toe, stands in the concrete rubble of a plaza. He summons dozens of bioweapons.

’𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶.’

𝘎𝘳𝘳𝘳! 𝘎𝘳𝘳𝘳. . .

Dozens of them gather before him.

They are assault-type bioweapons that don’t appear to be mammals or reptiles. Their bodies are structured for running like a four-legged predator, their heads resemble a combination of an insect and a fish, and their flexible tails have sharp blades protruding from the tips.

In addition, reddish-brown skin is partially covered by a shiny black carapace, which serves as a type of armor. When standing upright, these assault-type bioweapons are taller than humans.

‘𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪-𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘭𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮.’

The horde of bioweapons that follow him unconditionally obey the commands he sends through his brain waves. It is their instinct.

’𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪-𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘌𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺.’

At that, the bioweapons each let out low growls, as if eager to fight right now, and gnashed their teeth.

’𝘎𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘰 𝘷𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘭𝘦.’

Tatatata!

Immediately, the horde of dozens of bioweapons dashed past the towering buildings like hounds.

After swarming westward, the horde of bioweapons encounters human machines crossing an elevated highway.

Five bipedal war machines, each about three times the height of a person, are moving along with a large cargo truck.

The cargo truck, equipped with an anti-gravity device, hovers about a meter above the ground, clearing the obstacles strewn across the ruins. The five war machines protecting it carry gauss cannons larger than a human body, which they wield like rifles.

Grrr. . . Kaaar!

His horde rushes up the rubble of collapsed buildings onto the elevated highway. The war machines quickly react.

“Hostile lifeform detected.”

Kaaarrrr!!!

Immediately after the horrifying, overlapping screech echoes across the battlefield, the war machines’ cannon fire engulfs the horde.

Kwakwakwakwang!

Metallic projectiles fired in rapid succession from the gauss cannons erupt with a deafening roar.

Kuzik. . .

Several bioweapons in the front lines, hit by the metal projectiles, explode. However, these creatures have no fear of death.

Due to the nature of assault-type bioweapons, which require close-range combat to fight, they suffer casualties until they reach their target. However, Experimental Subject 412, who commands them, devises tactics based on the information he receives from their eyes and ears.

Experimental Subject 412, now atop the elevated highway, gives the order.

’𝘚𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦.’

The war machines reveal deployable launchers on their shoulders and scatter shrapnel like buckshot. Coincidentally, the horde of bioweapons widens the gaps between them.

𝘗𝘶𝘧𝘧!

Amidst the numerous explosions, several more are blown apart, and under the continuous barrage of cannon fire, several more fall.

Still, thanks to their timely dispersion, the horde of bioweapons managed to reach the war machines with their numbers intact.

Once the horde got this close, it was all over.

𝘒𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘨! 𝘒𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘨! 𝘒𝘸𝘢𝘬!

The horde of bioweapons swarmed the war machines like a pack of hounds attacking their prey.

They swing their tails, which are akin to monomolecular cutters, to slice through armor and savagely bite into internal components with their formidable bite force of approximately 2700 kg.

𝘒𝘶𝘯𝘨!

The war machines, which had been holding their ground by firing their cannons at close range, topple one by one. In the meantime, Experimental Subject 412, clad in full black armor, walks up to the cargo vehicle.

𝘒𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘩! 𝘒𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘳𝘳!!!

Amidst the cacophony of horrifying screeches, he reaches out to the cargo vehicle.

His palm comes into contact with the cargo vehicle.

At that moment, a voice resonates from the yellow sky.

━𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞.

The two war machines that had been resisting cease their actions.

𝘒𝘸𝘢𝘥𝘶𝘬!

The bioweapons latch onto the deactivated war machines and engage in meaningless acts of destruction.

The view of the surroundings, which had been enclosed by tall buildings in ruins, is now obstructed by white walls. The yellow sky also gradually changes into a white ceiling.

The walls and ceiling were realistic-looking screens, while the air particles around them were holograms.

━𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤. 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝟒𝟏𝟐, 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦.

“What’s my score?”

━𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬. 𝟗𝟓 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.

This is not a satisfactory score for him.

“Why did I lose 5 points?”

━𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬.

“I judged that we had a high chance of winning even without my intervention. And my absence was also a form of insurance against unexpected situations.”

It is a peculiar sight to see him, clad in black armor that one would never associate with a human being, obsessing over a score like a human.

“I request a review.”

━𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐍𝐨𝐰, 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬.

“. . .Understood.”

Experimental Subject 412 looks at the horde tearing apart the war machines. At that, the bioweapons cease their actions and rush eastward in a swarm.

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

Subjects like me, whose genetic makeup is based on that of humans, sit in neat rows in a white classroom. Everything is stark white, from the chairs and desks to the floor and walls.

And on the hologram unfolding in front of me, a timeline explaining history is displayed.

「Kardashev’s Universal Civilization Timeline of Major Events」

As usual, the day repeats itself. Today is no different.

“Subject 412. Stand up.”

“Yes.”

The one who just called my name is a machine with limbs. Humans define these machines that are equipped with artificial intelligence and perform tasks that humans would do as ‘humanoids.’

And the humanoid who just gave me an order serves as a teacher to the subjects.

“It seems the other subjects don’t understand, so I want you to demonstrate it yourself. You should have already memorized it all, right?”

“. . .In 2109, Earth’s Third World War, a nuclear war. The primary causes were environmental pollution and resource depletion due to overpopulation. The result was the collapse of civilizations worldwide and the devastation of the Earth.”

“Skip the causes and results and just state the main points.”

“In 2152, Earth’s Third World War reached a stalemate. In 2166, the North American government was reestablished. In 2170, the UN United Government was established. In 2171, the Deep Space Gateway and the interstellar colony spaceship Noah’s Ark were constructed.”

I recited what I had memorized, and the teacher humanoid nodded.

The teacher humanoid’s eyes are a single, straight line, there is no nose, and in place of a mouth, there is a densely packed array of holes that serve as a voice output device, resembling a speaker. As a result, the teacher humanoid has no expression, but its intentions are clear.

“. . .After 300 lost years, the terraforming and city construction of Mars were completed in 2467.”

It wants me to finish speaking.

Its intention is to instill a sense of competition or inferiority in the other subjects by having me say everything.

“In 2468, the Federal Government split, and independent civilizations were established. The Solar System Union and the definition of the Kardashev Universal Civilization were established. In 2492, the dimensional passage was opened, and a mega-corporation-type civilization was established.”

My memory is perfect.

“On April 29, 2599, the Solar System civil war broke out, and on May 4, the satellite president of the Saturn government declared surrender, ending the war. On November 5, the Radiake coup d’état succeeded, and the Radiake monarchy was born. On November 6, Radiake invaded the Solar System, and the Solar System civil war broke out. On December 25, the Allied Forces were formed, leading to the defeat of the Radiake monarchy and the liberation of the Radiake star nation. The war ended.”

The reason my memory is perfect is that I have complete control over my brain at the cellular level.

“On February 3, 2600, an alien force invaded humanity. On March 1, humanity triumphed thanks to the efforts of the United Nation Forces UNF fleet and the Drake Stellar Nation. On March 3, UNF Human Protection Day was designated. That is all.”

“Excellent. Sit down.”

I sat down without a word of praise.

Now, I take a quick glance around.

My competitors are sending me openly hostile glances. I meet their gazes with a cold stare, then turn my head back to the hologram.

“You will go out into the world and fight. In this galaxy teeming with humans, any subject who fails to properly learn about human society will end their life as a subject.”

Everyone knows it. Only one subject can escape this place.

“So take after Subject 412’s excellence. If you were not born as excellent as Subject 412, strive with all your might to make up for it. That’s what you need to do right now.”

Among these subjects, I am Experimental Subject 412.

Subjects from the 1st to the 100th womb were in the 1st batch, subjects from the 101st to the 200th womb were in the 2nd batch. And so on.

So, I’m Experimental Subject 412, in the 5th batch. I’m the youngest generation, and they say the 5th batch is the last generation of this project.

“Today’s lesson ends here. Before the next lesson, study in advance about the most recent major event: humanity’s encounter with an alien civilization.”

Only one subject per batch can pass the test and go outside. Out of 100 subjects, only one can go out into the world.

The 99 subjects who fail the grueling test conducted by the Darwin Foundation will meet their demise as living beings.

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

This place where I was created and raised is the Darwin Foundation, which is supported by anonymous donors.

It is located in the Opeltes Cloud of the Nemea Star Nation.

This is the Darwin Foundation’s headquarters and is a massive colony that houses vast ancillary facilities necessary for research and experimentation in life sciences, including artificial life forms, bioparts, biomaterials, biological weapons, and bioweapons.

The official name of the facility is Apoptology.

What the Darwin Foundation does is ‘weaponize life.’

And I, created in this foundation, am a type of bioweapon. The subjects of the 1st batch were also bioweapons, and the other 5th batch subjects who are currently competing with me are all bioweapons undergoing testing.

Once the 100 5th batch subjects kill each other until only one remains, that last one will go out into society, and then five more will undergo the final test to emerge as the most superior bioweapon.

And that final test and all the tests before that are said to be death matches where the subjects kill each other directly.

The surviving subject will become a full-fledged bioweapon and be eligible to work with the Darwin Foundation.

That is the goal that subjects like me strive for.

Fortunately, I am recognized as the most superior individual among the 100 5th batch subjects.

“How was your lesson today, Young Master?”

The top 10 subjects with high scores are assigned human secretaries who come to their private rooms to attend to them.

My secretary is a human male, 35 years old, with deep-set eyes and an intelligent look, speaking objectively.

Subjectively, he is an utterly stubborn fellow.

“It was the same. There was nothing more to learn.”

“Tomorrow, your history education will be complete. Have you read all the history e-books I gave you last time?”

“I memorized them all the day you gave them to me.”

I took off my stuffy clothes, handed them to my secretary, and went into the bathroom. Then, my secretary follows me to the bathroom door.

“Oh, you memorized them all the day you received them. As expected of you, master. You always exceed my expectations. Haha.”

I look at the mirror above the sink and start brushing my teeth. This is not an act of cleanliness. After all, I can control any food or bacteria left in my mouth with my will.

Even so, the reason I brush my teeth is that I need the surfactant in the toothpaste.

“It’s not good for you to eat too much of that.”

But my secretary is too perceptive.

“. . .I’ll only ingest as much as I need for the experiment.”

“Is it a new cell membrane experiment?”

“Keep it a secret from the other subjects.”

“Only the members of the foundation know about the daily in vivo experiments that you conduct, Young Master. Everyone is watching with interest, so I hope you won’t worry this time either.”

“Are you sure?”

“The competing subjects will never know your secrets.”

My face reflected in the mirror is utterly ordinary. That is, except for the peculiar feature that I have a strangely kind impression when I am expressionless. Black hair, black eyes, thick eyebrows, and slightly thin lips.

My appearance, which is appropriate for my age of 18, is said to be to reduce the allies’ alertness when fighting alongside humans as a bioweapon.

And the reason I have a human body even though I’m a bioweapon is because I will eventually serve as a commander between humans and bioweapons.

“Oh, and Young Master. How is the progress of the experiment to spread brain nerve tissue to cells throughout the body?”

“Why are you curious about that?”

“Because the entire Darwin Foundation is paying attention to your experiment.”

I feel annoyed at being treated like a subject.

I am a subject right now, though.

“Secretary. Are they still gambling on me at the upper levels?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’m talking about the gambling where they bet money on who among the 5th batch subjects will finish in what rank.”

When I ask him like that, my secretary smiles nonchalantly.

“Haha. I heard that everyone has gotten used to it after you told them not to do that last time, Young Master.”

“If you heard it, does that mean you don’t know for sure?”

“Because it’s the upper level’s business.”

When I finished brushing my teeth, my secretary brought me my clothes.

It’s a white cloth with four gray stripes running vertically. It feels like a combination of a patient’s gown and a prison uniform. No. It’s closer to a prison uniform.

“I don’t want to wear it.”

“I’m sorry to say this again, but as a future ruler, you must maintain your dignity, Young Master.”

“The fabric is uncomfortable. I’d rather make my own clothes with my cells. Didn’t I tell you that I can make the exact same design as that outfit with my ability?”

Still, my secretary smiles cheerfully.

“Haha. That’s difficult here. No matter how outstanding you are, you are still a subject. You can do whatever you want after you leave this facility, so please bear with it for a while.”

The secretary assigned to me by this foundation is really inflexible. No matter how many times I request the same thing repeatedly, he never listens.

I had no choice but to put on the top that my secretary gave me.

The texture of the fabric against my skin feels alien. I can feel every single cell on my chest, sides, back, shoulders, arms, and any part of my body that comes into contact with it.

That discomfort showed on my face. My secretary bows his head slightly and says something similar to what he said last time.

“The reason why you are particularly uncomfortable wearing clothes is, in the end, because you are outstanding, Young Master.”

“Don’t the other subjects have the ability to manipulate all the cells in their bodies?”

“Unlike you, the other subjects have not yet reached the level of manipulating each cell individually. I would say that there is a clear gap between you, who can sense the sensations of every cell that makes up your body, and the other subjects who cannot.”

The prominent humans of this Darwin Foundation seem to be very interested in me.

They are probably observing this moment of conversation and appearance.

“I don’t think I’m particularly outstanding. Weren’t we all born with the same genetic material, except for our appearance and gender? It’s just that I realized it earlier than the other 5th batch subjects.”

“The reason you realized it early was because you prioritized evolving your brain.”

“Eventually, they will all touch their brains. In the end, everyone will reach the same level.”

This is what I’m saying to the Darwin Foundation that’s probably eavesdropping on this conversation. I wish they would show a little less interest.

“Even so, I have no doubt that you will become the ruler, Young Master.”

“It’s probably because of the system where you also get promoted if I become a ruler.”

This time too, my secretary nods with a smile and walks to the door of my private room.

“In the evening, there is training in preparation for the final selection. Don’t be late and be sure to go to the large-scale experimental building A16C.”

“Can’t I see my mother while I’m there?”

“I’m sorry, but the final selection is approaching. The last time a 5th batch subject met their mother was the last time.”

“I know. But can’t I see her if I walk a few steps from there?”

“I’m sorry. That will be difficult.”

Humans say they can see their mothers whenever they want, but why can’t I see my mother when I want to? The Darwin Foundation doesn’t even explain the reason for that.

The last time I saw her was six months ago.

“Can’t I even see her for a moment? It’s right next door.”

“You can’t, Young Master.”

The Darwin Foundation guys and the secretary are all animals that I don’t like.

According to the teacher’s explanation, the way humans feel when they see pests is the same way that subjects feel when they see other living beings.

It is an instinct that was ingrained because of the nature of bioweapons that have to fight something. It is an instinct to abhor any living thing that is not their ‘own kind’.

It seems that this is especially strong against humans. The more I learn, the more I come into contact with them, the more the exclusive instinct toward other species that was ingrained in me arouses my aversion to humans.

“. . .You’re always like that. It’s always one-way communication.”

“Haha. . .”

“If you have nothing more to say, get out of my room right now.”

I kicked my secretary out like that and sat on the bed, immersing myself in my work.

I can’t waste the 30 minutes that I was given. If I can’t come in first in the selection test after defeating all the 5th batch subjects, I will die.

This is an experiment that I have been continuing since the time I started walking on two legs. It is the same experiment that I have always done, moving the cells in my body, creating new neurotransmitters, intentionally tampering with metabolism, observing chemical reactions, and remembering them.

I tried mutating my fingernails into something close to a monomolecular cutter, but even a light scratch on the wall of my private room broke my fingernails first.

Even if I used more calcium or iron, the result didn’t change much. It seems that I won’t be able to create the best fingernails that I can think of without a special material that is stronger than steel.

There are too many restrictions in this facility.

Once I get out of this facility and step into the world, there will be plenty of resources that I can use. According to the knowledge I learned, there are hundreds of types of elements and billions of materials in this world.

What a broad and diverse world this is. It would be a tragedy to throw away such a world and end my life at the age of 18.

Survival, exploration, creation, loyalty to my birth mother, aversion to other species.

The instincts ingrained in me are just these five.

There are many things I want to experiment with. There are many things I want to create. There are many things I want to know. I want to command the army that I created myself, give my birth mother a better nest than this facility, hear humans call me a ruler while working on the battlefield, and continue to evolve as a living being. Sometimes, I want to selectively regress.

That is my dream.

So, I have no choice but to pass all the tests of the Darwin Foundation safely and become the final subject.

As my secretary said, the final selection is coming soon. I have to pass that selection to go out into the world.

If I don’t pass the selection, my 18 years of life will be in vain.

From now on, all the subjects except me have to die. I have to completely eliminate them and kill them to achieve my dream.

Translator’s Blog

Blog

• Study Guide: Lofi or Punk Emo? The Soundtrack to Smashing Your Next Exam (Like a Boss)
• Your Crush is With Someone Else? Channel Your Inner Samurai, Not a Sad Puppy Dog.
• That Cringey Anime Obsessed Kid In Your Class: A Guide to Not Being That Guy (Or Gal)
• Feeling like a lazy Naruto? This is How You Stop Procrastinating and Conquer Your To-Do List Like a True Hokage
• Wakana Gojou: The Ultimate Husbando? Is This Anime Romance Even Real?