𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒𝟐
“I couldn’t… I couldn’t accept my own color.
I always thought I was a tainted child… that I shouldn’t be alive.
When I heard the truth from His Majesty… I wondered what all my past suffering was for.
Even so… I was afraid to make this fact public, so I hid my color.”
ㅤ
“. . .Even if it’s so hard for Kyle,
You like your father, don’t you?”
ㅤ
“. . .I wanted to be accepted.
Like my other siblings, I wanted him to say ‘truly my son.’
If I announced the truth, he might regret it and apologize.
But I felt that we could never be father and son again.
If I pointed out the truth, I felt like I would have to blame all the people in Margrave’s territory.
If that happened, I thought I could never return there again.”
ㅤ
“What does Kyle want?”
ㅤ
“I have never been able to accept myself.
I didn’t want to show such a pathetic side to the princess.
. . .If I’m to become a consort, I can’t hide it forever.
Do I. . .qualify to be a consort?”
ㅤ
Slumped in his chair, not looking at me since a while ago.
It’s annoying, so I climb onto Kyle’s lap and sit.
ㅤ
“. . .Princess?”
ㅤ
“You don’t like my color?”
ㅤ
“The Princess’ color? . . .No, I think the Princess’ color is very beautiful.”
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“The same color as Kyle?”
ㅤ
“. . .The color is certainly the same, but. . .”
ㅤ
“My Otou-sama begged for his mistress’ life and was imprisoned in the tower.
Okaa-sama divorced and returned to Kokodia to bury her lover.
People who didn’t help even when they realized that their real daughter was suffering.
. . .I was always raised being told I was an Ineligible Princess.
I was told to address my grandfather as ‘Your Majesty,’ and I believed wholeheartedly that I was disliked.
Do I not qualify to be a princess?”
ㅤ
I think Kyle, Chris, and I are very similar.
We thirst for the unconditional love of parents who will embrace us.
We want what we couldn’t have, and we couldn’t let go,
We kept deceiving ourselves by working hard.
ㅤ
I’m pretending to give up, but I feel miserable,
I might fall into self-loathing if I let my guard down.
So, I wanted to tell Kyle that if he feels pathetic, I feel the same way.
ㅤ
“There’s no way that’s true!
I have seen the Princess’ efforts all along.
Not just the talent as a princess, but the hard work to protect this country dearly.
More than anyone else, you are suitable as a princess and as a queen.
Both Chris and I, who have observed her closely, believe that. There’s no doubt about it!”
ㅤ
“You see, it’s the same.
No matter what kind of person Kyle’s father was, or how his mother died,
I know Kyle as a serious, kind, and persistent person.
It’s not because of royal blood or color that I want you as my consort.
If you want to hide it, you can keep hiding it.
I’m not choosing you because you’re the son of the Margrave.
I want you by my side because you are Kyle.”
ㅤ
When I tell him that I chose him because he’s Kyle, not anyone else,
His face changes in surprise.
I thought he would understand if I told him we’re the same,
Because we have a past we can’t change on our own.
It’s something we can’t help.
ㅤ
I understood the female Margrave’s situation.
And the worry that might happen if it’s announced.
But I still want him to accept this selfishness.
ㅤ
“I want Kyle by my side until the end.
I want to protect this country as a queen.
I can’t let Kokodia have their way.
Next week, Kokodia’s third prince is transferring to the academy.
They’re trying to force me to consent to an engagement.
ㅤ
I’ll be fine if Kyle and Chris are with me.
So I won’t make a prince from another country my consort.”
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“Kokodia’s third prince. . .”
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“Will you. . .protect me?”
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I think it’s an unfair way to say it.
There’s no way kind Kyle wouldn’t nod to this.
ㅤ
Kyle, who was depressed just a while ago,
His face changes, worrying about the third prince.
I’m sure he’s already thinking about how to handle it next week.
ㅤ
“Kyle?”
ㅤ
While Kyle, who had me seated on his lap, suddenly lifted me up,
He placed me in the chair where Kyle had been sitting.
He then knelt in that state, took both of my hands, and wore a fearless smile.
ㅤ
“. . .If you’re not interested in my situation, that’s fine.
It seems I was thinking a bit too hard.
ㅤ
I did promise.
I’ll be by your side, my princess, forever.
If that takes the form of a consort, I’ll accept it too.
Let me be by your side, my princess.”
ㅤ
“Thank you, Kyle.
Stay with me… until the end.”
ㅤ
With a slight feeling of guilt, I cling to Kyle.
If the day comes when I can reveal my past life as a witch,
I may not be forgiven.
But I still wanted Kyle and Chris by my side.
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