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The Superficial Saint Becomes a Young Girl, Relishing Her Exiled Life with a Love-Stricken God – Chapter 8

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟖: 𝐈𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐲

After we left the brothel, we wandered around the pleasure district in the daytime.

The transient city changes quite a bit in ten years. And with so many incidents, nobody can really remember every single one. There were very few people who could answer when asked about my father.

And the few people there were, they all uniformly replied that my father was dead, and they told us all kinds of rumors.

The daughter was noticed by a nobleman, so she abandoned her father and left the house.

There was no daughter. The child was kidnapped and it was the real parents who burnt him to death when they came to reclaim her.

He was a drifter selling suspicious drugs. He was found by the authorities and seems to have been killed with his daughter.

In all of the rumors, there was no trace of the kind and gruff father.

While walking, I caught sight of a mirror displayed in the window of an antique shop. The reflection in it was just like me from my childhood.

Seeing Kami-sama walking next to me seemed like my father for a moment ― it hurt, so I hurried away from the mirror.

“. . . . . .Charte. Let’s take a break.”

Kami-sama suggests, taking my hand.

Together with Kami-sama, I entered a rest area near the carriage stop.

In the cramped space, vulgar words and drawings were stuck all over the place, and under the bench were the remains of bugs and cigarette butts.

“. . . . . .Can I borrow your lap?”

“Yes.”

I’m tired from walking half a day in a child’s body. I sat down next to Kami-sama who was sitting on the bench, borrowed his lap and closed my eyes.

Kami-sama strokes my head. His palm is cold. It feels like there’s no body heat.

I wanted to distract my mind by talking about something trivial.

“. . . . . .Kami-sama, your original form is a snake, right?”

“Yes.”

“Right. . . . . .but sometimes you’re warm, why is that?”

“Your body heat is transferring to me. And then.”

“And then?”

“With magic. . . . . .people are more comfortable when they feel warmth. I’m only warming the part that touches Charlene.”

“Isn’t it tough for Kami-sama to do that when you’re a cold-blooded animal?”

“Not particularly. . . . . .I’m happy when Charlene seems to feel good.”

“. . . . . .I see.”

Kami-sama’s sporadic talking and voice feel extremely good to my depressed body.

It seems to seep into my emptied body.

“🔸 🔸Hey, Kami-sama.”

“Mm.”

“I want you to just listen from now on.”

I felt Kami-sama nod. I closed my eyes and put the regret that I had been holding in my heart into words.

“My Dad was a pharmacist, remember? Because he was a drifter, he was able to make a variety of medicines that were not widely used in this country, and he was a really good pharmacist. He had a good face, and even though he had a bad character, he was compassionate. . . . . .Despite everything, he was a nice person and someone people could rely on, a Dad I was proud of.”

I admired my father. That’s why there was something I couldn’t understand when I was a child.

“But Dad usually didn’t work to his full potential, he always sold medicine that had only about half the effectiveness. Because I was a fool. If he made it seriously, he could have become rich, right? Was he slacking off? I was a little dissatisfied. . . . . .But, Dad deliberately made low-quality medicine. He helped as many people as effectively as he could within his means, and he protected himself and me.”

“. . . . . .”

“I didn’t realize.”

My voice was small and hoarse.

I hadn’t talked about it at all, even in the bath at the cathedral.

Because I had done something so foolish.

“I was doing unnecessary things. To the people who came to buy medicine, I secretly did a charm and healed them. I convinced myself that I was doing good. . . . . .Dad didn’t notice my healing.”

Seeing everyone relieve their suffering and smile, I felt a strange sense of joy.

My father, puzzled, would often say, “Did the medicine work this well?” as he repeatedly adjusted the dosage.

Still, my vagrant father, ignorant of the existence of the saintly powers, never realized that I possessed them. Because these powers are born only within the faith sphere of the Land God Kai.

“. . . . . .Because of that, I was captured by the church. And then, Dad. . .”

A common thread in all the rumors is that he was burned to death a long time ago. The timing coincides exactly with when I was taken to the church.

“He didn’t have to die.”

Before I could continue, Kami-sama bent down and kissed my forehead.

It was a gentle kiss. He picked me up lightly as I tried to turn my face away, sat me on his lap, and held me tightly.

“I am God. I forgive. . . . . .Little Charlene was just doing what she could.”

“. . . . . .Even if Kami-sama forgives me, I can’t forgive myself. Because of me. . . . . .”

My shoulders shake.

While holding me gently, Kami-sama speaks to me.

“It’s okay if you can’t forgive yourself. . . . . .It’s hard to forgive oneself. Instead, I will empathize with Charlene’s regret. . . . . .I will always be by your side until Charlene can come to terms with her guilt.”

“The day I come to terms with it will never come.”

“If it doesn’t come. . . . . .even if it never comes, I will be by your side for a lifetime.”

Rather than condemning my mistakes or pretending they never happened, Kami-sama simply empathized with my regret.

“. . . . . .Thank you, Kami-sama.”

“You should rest a little more. Charlene’s body is like that of a recovering child. . . . . .Physical exhaustion torments the soul. You need rest.”

“Then. . . . . .Can I sleep here a little longer?”

“Mm.”

Kami-sama gently pats my back.

His touch is very similar to Dad’s, and I, unable to resist the desire to sleep, drifted off.

“Goodnight, Charlene.”

Kami-sama’s voice was, as always, comforting.

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

In my dream, I lived with my parents.

Father still sold medicine, occasionally taught how to improve our lives, and confronted the brothel owner about overworking the prostitutes.

Mother, while watching my stubborn father, happily played with my hair.

Both of them looked at me, caressed me, and spoke to me.

“You should think carefully and choose what you think is the best thing you can do.”

“Charlene. Things are not always what they seem. . . . . .Just as Kami-sama has been watching over you, like how you, thought to be dead by the church, are still alive.”

“Use the regret of failure for the next time. You are still alive. You are loved by Kami-sama, you can still start over.”

“We love you, Charlene. . . . . .Do your best.”

In my dream, they loved me as they always had.

Even when I woke up, their warm feelings remained the same.

“. . . . . .Charlene.”

“Thanks for letting me sleep. . .How long has it been?”

“About an hour.”

“I see. . .Hey, Kami-sama.”

“Mm.”

“. . . . . .I want to properly visit the grave. Would you come with me?”

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

After a brief rest, I left the shop and headed for the church with the graves.

There was a knight at the front of the church, so I slipped in quietly from the back after the knight left.

In a cemetery full of only prostitutes and drifters, I can’t tell which grave is my father’s.

“Ah, as expected, mom’s grave has also been relocated. Because people die so quickly, old graves are constantly being compressed.”

After I checked the tombstones one by one, I looked back at Kami-sama who was silently watching over me. It was already the time of the setting sun, and the cemetery was dyed orange like my eyes. The standing Kami-sama in black robes looked like just another large tombstone.

“Hey, Kami-sama. What can you do besides manipulating people’s minds and killing people?”

“I can do anything. Anything that people do by borrowing the magic of the land.”

“That means, both the healing of the saint’s abilities and the sorcery of the sorcerer? That’s amazing.”

“What do you want me to do? If you want me to destroy the church. . .”

“If you do that, there will be people in trouble.”

I shook my head sideways and looked at the grave.

“I want you to make flowers bloom. Dad, he liked flowers as a pharmacist.”

“Understood.”

When Kami-sama swept the space with his hand, orange flowers danced in the wind—it’s a marigold.

I kneel. And with my fingers intertwined and my eyes closed, I prayed.

(Please. . . . . .Dad, whether you are here or not. . . . . .Be happy)

“Aren’t you sleeping here?”

“Don’t read the words of prayer.”

“I can’t help it because I’m a god.”

“. . . . . .I haven’t seen it with my own eyes yet, so I don’t believe it. That Dad is gone. . . . . .Even if I don’t believe it, I think it’s okay.”

I didn’t see my father’s death. So I have the freedom not to believe, only within me.

“Dad has gone on a journey to a distant land. . . . . .Just like he met my mom fatefully in this city.”

Such a thing might be a lie for my own sake.

Another me inside me screams. [It’s because you were careless that the father lost his daughter, and then he was killed].

But still, I tell myself that for today. I can’t be bound by sorrow and immobilized.

After a long time, Kami-sama spoke to me.

“Charlene. The sun is setting. . . . . .Let’s stay somewhere again.”

“That’s right.”

I was led by the hand by Kami-sama, and the two of us left the pleasure district.

As the purple night began, the city started to smell of alcohol and women.


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