𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐑, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈’𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍?
There are things in the world that are not meant to be broken.
But I broke them all.
Not because of some noble cause.
But simply because I had to eat and live.
Even so, I took some pride in my ability to conquer all that was said to be impossible. If it was made by a human, then there had to be a flaw somewhere.
There had never been a stage I couldn’t clear or a trap I couldn’t conquer.
Of course, that didn’t mean I asked to be locked up in a prison!
🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶
The trajectory of the holy sword was light, while the fall of the Demon King’s helmet was heavy.
Thud.
The castle with the burning throne.
In the center of it all, the Demon King vanished into ashes.
I silently wiped the Demon King’s blood off the holy sword.
『The End.』
The ending credits rolled as English names shot up from the ground. Only then did I take off the mounted display I was wearing.
“H-He really did it. He didn’t die a single time.”
The Dingo Soft employees gathered around me were flabbergasted. I could see one of them drop his coffee mug on his desk.
I took off the controller gloves and said,
“This concludes the alpha test for Bloody Crown.”
I’m a hidden alpha tester.
While beta testing is where the general public gets to play a game for free before its official release, alpha testing is a crucial test conducted internally by the developer. Alpha testing is done toward the end of the development stage to check for any missed bugs or computational errors in specific scenarios.
My job was to expose the limits of the game by conquering the highest difficulty in the shortest amount of time. You could say I’m a private tutor who discovers cheap tricks to easily kill bosses before the game is released.
“Mr. Park Sang-sik, how the hell did you do it? I can’t believe it even after seeing it.”
The director, with his bushy beard and horn-rimmed glasses, grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
“I see. I did make the Demon King’s instant death attack have no cooldown in Hell difficulty, and the floor tiles kept collapsing, plus he could even teleport out of sight, so it was a bit tricky.”
“What are you talking about after clearing it with No Die? Even the programmers who created that pattern for Diablo’s third phase had to try at least thirty times.”
“When Diablo jumps to use his instant death attack, the player can hide behind the throne, and the reflection of the light from the embedded jewels on the armrests changes subtly. You can predict the direction of the attack from that.”
“. . . No, it doesn’t even take a second to activate. How did you catch that? You’ve got some crazy reflexes.”
Conquering an unconquerable peak.
That’s my job.
The director and programmers will now have to calculate frantically if anyone else can discover the strategy I found and what impact that would have on the game’s balance. And they will have to devise new algorithms based on the method I used to defeat the boss.
That’s where my worth comes in.
“Oh no. If we make it any harder, we’re doomed.”
“I’m sorry for clearing it too easily. Please call me again next time.”
“Are you leaving right away? Uh . . . You’ll need to transfer to a wheelchair. Shall I help you?”
“No. I can do this much by myself.”
I declined the director’s offer and moved from the gaming chair to the wheelchair.
The employees parted to make way for me. Geez. That just makes me want to hurry up and leave. It feels burdensome.
I pretended to be nonchalant as I slid open the game company’s door and said to the director,
“Don’t you have any games that are harder than this? A game with a hopeless difficulty level that no warrior can beat no matter how hard they try.”
I walked past the stunned employees and pressed the elevator button.
As I stepped outside to catch the subway, the gazes around me turned from awe to pity.
I was an unbeatable warrior at the top of this building, but as soon as I came down to the ground floor, I became an object of pity.
Reality is different from games. The handicap that prevents me from walking or running is a curse of a different order from the debuff magic that causes temporary inconvenience.
‘𝘼 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩-𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙡𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙢.’
Unlike other alpha testers, I’m not crazy about games. I don’t even play games that much in my free time unless I’m commissioned to test them.
There’s only one reason I chose this job. It’s hard to find a job that someone like me can do.
『Deposit: 2,500,000 won』
『Depositor: Dingo Soft』
A text message popped up as soon as I returned to the boarding house.
It’s the highest pay an alpha tester can receive, but it’s not even close to the average monthly salary of a regular employee. It’s not like games that can hire me are released every week.
“I guess I’ll deposit it to Sang-hee first.”
But the clock was already pointing to 11. The notification sound might disturb my sister, who would be studying hard in her dorm room the night before her graduation ceremony.
“I wonder if it’s really okay to visit her tomorrow.”
Sang-hee was the only reason I kept living. Unlike me, who dropped out of school early, she was a remarkable girl who got into the business department of a prestigious university with top marks.
She told me I didn’t need to get her any flowers, but I know how scary the stares and gossip of kids her age can be.
Sang-hee would probably greet me without a care in the world, even in an auditorium full of students, but I wasn’t sure if I could handle those stares.
I could see a yellow floorboard covered in dust between the wheelchair and the bed.
At that moment, I felt disillusioned with everything.
“Damn it. My luck.”
What’s the point of being an omnipotent problem solver in a game? What’s the point of being an invincible warrior or an emperor who commands a continent?
I’m stuck in this miserable state where I can’t even go outside because of the shackles on my legs and have to keep breathing through games.
Is that why?
As I collapsed on the bed,
I couldn’t help but shout this:
“Gaaaah! I just want to live as a real warrior for a single day!”
🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶
『Your desperate plea has reached the other side of the universe.』
『You are the subject of Purgatorium’s summoning.』
I think I heard a voice like that in my sleep.
🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶
“Did you really grant the wish?”
This damn fate.
I didn’t even blink before being dragged here.
When I opened my eyes, I was dropped in an unfamiliar place.
A black room about six pyeong in size.
There was a puddle of water on the floor, and my reflection was visible in it.
A man with blonde hair and sapphire-like blue eyes was touching his face.
When I opened my eyes, I had become a warrior.
The max-leveled warrior that I had personally raised.
『Name: Schwein Stringer』
『Race: Human』, 『Class: Warrior』
『Title: Dragon Slayer, Conqueror of the Dark Temple, Savior of the Fallen Kingdom』
『HP: 99,999』, 『MP: 9,999』, 『Strength: 999』, 『Agility: 999』
『A warrior born with the blessing of the God of War. A chosen being who overcame countless trials and ascended to the realm of Sword Master. Has the potential to become the overlord of the universe, transcending the barriers of dimensions.』
Oh my god. Blonde hair and blue eyes. The basic type 1 male character customization of the game I played in the alpha test yesterday, .
‘𝙄’𝙢 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙡𝙖𝙯𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙪𝙥 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙄 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 𝙖 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚, 𝙨𝙤 𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨.’
I felt my semi-naked body.
A body that had received the goddess’s blessing and had been trained to the limit at the kingdom’s academy. There wasn’t an ounce of fat or unnecessary muscle. It was like the physique of a cheetah sprinting across the plains.
The warrior’s name was Schwein Stringer.
It was the name with the initials SS, and a middle schooler’s cringe added as the nickname.
“Am I reincarnated as a warrior? Or was I summoned as a warrior?”
A chuckle escaped my lips.
What does it matter if I was reincarnated or summoned? Whether it was a whim of a crazy god or a minor bug born from the near-infinite possibilities of the universe, it doesn’t matter.
The important thing is that this isn’t a dream.
“I’m no longer the disabled person Park Sang-sik.”
I looked down at my two legs that were firmly planted on the ground. Perfect, elegant muscles like those of a carnivore sprinting across the plains.
“Let’s try jumping.”
I don’t know when was the last time I tried to jump.
I bent my legs and pushed off the ground, and the floor quickly receded from view. I almost hit my head on the ceiling.
“Straight punch.”
A simple action of clenching my fist and thrusting it forward.
Bam!
As soon as I threw the straight punch, the wind bounced off the wall and came back. My blonde hair playfully tickled my ears.
Did I just create a fist wind?
I could feel that my body had far surpassed human limitations.
“But why am I only wearing underwear? Did only my body get transported here?”
As if in response to my words, several translucent windows suddenly opened before my eyes.
『Status』 and 『Inventory』.
There were so many items that I had to take a couple steps back to see them all at once.
“Wow. . .”
It was overwhelming.
I looked at the list of skills, and all the countless skills that I had mastered while playing the game were there!
I opened the equipment list, and armor and helmets made by divine blacksmiths appeared!
I opened the weapon inventory, and legendary weapons obtained from defeating dragons appeared!
What can I do with all these?
No, what can’t I do?
“I don’t know which god blessed me, but I’ll accept it!”
Fine. If this is my destiny, I’ll accept it.
However, my laughter was cut short when blue particles began to gather around my wrists.
Huh? What’s this again?
『Prisoner Schwein Stringer.』
『You have been summoned to the waiting room of Purgatorium.』
『You will be under the jurisdiction of the warden of the 0th floor, ‘The Rat Oppressed by Laziness’.』
Purgato. . . What? What is that?
And why am I a prisoner?
『Your sentence is 100 years.』
『There is a concern that the prisoner’s powerful physical abilities may threaten the control functions of the waiting room. Therefore, Purgatorium recommends readjusting the prisoner’s physical abilities. Fortunately, there is a record of the prisoner’s consent to ‘ability readjustment’ among their statements.』
My statement? What consent did I give?
At that moment, a memory flashed through my mind like lightning.
‘𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨? 𝘼 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙮 𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙮.’
Huh? Did I just dig my own grave?
“Wait a minute. I just said that to sound cool. The bluff of a hardcore gamer! Everyone pretends to be strong like that!”
Clank.
The blue particles formed a pair of black metal handcuffs.
A pair of handcuffs were attached to my wrists, and shackles were attached to my feet.
Perhaps because of this, the 9,999 numbers that filled the status window were decreasing at an alarming rate.
━9,131. . .
━7,523. . .
━3,075. . .
No!
My stats are plummeting!
I feel dizzy. My body is getting so heavy that it’s hard to even stand still.
Is it because my strength is being drained?
It wasn’t my imagination.
The blue bars in the status window and inventory before my eyes were quickly turning red.
『EX-grade attack skill ‘Penetrating Strike’ ━Execution impossible due to lack of MP.』
No. This can’t be.
『S-grade armor Dragonheart Plate ━Equipment impossible due to lack of HP.』
You bastards. You call me a warrior.
『SS-grade one-handed sword Arondight ━Usage impossible due to lack of strength.』
How can you give me all this and then take it away!
My status window, which had been glowing gold, had turned brown.
『Name: Schwein Stringer』
『Race: Human』, 『Class: Warrior』
『Title: New Inmate』
『HP: 100』, 『MP: 10』, 『Strength: 10』, 『Agility: 10』
In short, a scrub warrior.
If I had to play the game with these specs, I’d barely be able to defeat the slimes in the tutorial and would have to struggle against the wolves in the back mountain with my life on the line.
I sat down in a daze. Only then did I realize what the puddle of water that had reflected the warrior’s handsome face earlier was. It was the water in a squat toilet.
A room with black wallpaper that was closed off on three sides. The bed I had woken up on was covered in a shabby quilt, and,
Oh my god. There are even bars on the window?
“Where the hell is this!”
As if to answer my question, a guide’s voice rang out.
『This is Purgatorium.』
『This prison was created to confine heinous criminals who could disrupt causality from all the dimensions that exist.
Since the creation of the universe, no prisoner has ever managed to escape this place.
Your sentence is 100 years for ‘insulting the Goddess of Fate’ and ‘genocide of the Myne race’.』
Genocide of the Myne race?
In reality, I’m a weakling who can barely kill mosquitoes or flies. I’ve never killed anything bigger than my thumb, let alone a Myne.
Then, suddenly, the faces of the monsters that had been beheaded by the weapon wielded by the game character ‘Schwein Stringer’ came to mind. I would need an engineering calculator to count them all.
The crimes of a game character. . . Are you saying that I’m responsible for them?
Don’t be ridiculous!
“Is it wrong to kill enemies in a game!”
I pounded the bars with my fists in anger.
Bam!
Ouch! That really hurt.
This is definitely not a game world.
It’s clearly reality.
No, even if this is a game, what’s the problem? What kind of perverted game company made this shitty game!
🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶
At the age of sixteen, the car my family was riding in fell under the guardrail. My parents took the shock directly and crossed a path they could not return from at the scene,
In the process of wrapping my younger sister in the next seat, I lost the life of both legs.
When I first sat in a wheelchair, I had to fall mercilessly on the road, but the short distance from the bottom to the wheelchair taught me a lot.
That there are no parents in the world to lift me up now.
But if I want to protect my younger sister, I can’t just lie down.
That the world does not look at us when we whine in front of despair.
I learned everything from that floor.
“It’s been 10 years since I stood on two feet like this.”
At first, I was so immersed in the joy of gaining healthy legs that I couldn’t see where I fell. That’s how much the two legs that couldn’t be revived were my eternal shackles.
Having barely escaped from such physical shackles,
Now the world around me is a prison?
“Don’t make me laugh.”
I can’t be trapped for 100 years.
Above all, there’s my younger sister waiting for me on Earth!
『The ‘The Rat Oppressed by Laziness’ prison guard on the 0th floor is curious about your attitude change.』
Who am I.
I’m the best alpha tester in South Korea. I have created hundreds of strategies that the creators themselves could not think of.
Even when they pushed my nose and jokingly offered a stage without an exit, I found a thin bug and escaped.
I’ve cleared countless impregnable fortresses.
The most vicious inescapable prison in the universe?
Then I am the most tenacious never-give-up warrior in the universe.
“You chose the wrong prisoner. I’m going to escape!”
Translator’s Blog
Blog
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- Demon Slayer: Tengen Uzui – The Ultimate Husbando?
- How to Deal with Your Cringey Otaku Classmate (Without Turning into a Weeaboo Yourself)
- Kimonos, Cosplay, and Cultural Cancels: Nezuko’s Demon Slayer Saga in China
- Why You Can Read Light Novels But Can’t Speak English: A Guide to Unlocking Your Inner Voice
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