Chapter 30: Ending up right back where one started
——And then time passed again, and I, Aliseteen Quatra, turned twelve years old.
“Hey, this tea is lukewarm. Why would you serve me something so half-assed? Are you treating me like a child?”
Clang! I make a loud sound as I put the cup on the saucer. Although the tea splattered extravagantly all over the table, it’s not my concern.
“I-I’m terribly sorry, Aliseteen-ojosama. I’ll bring you a new one right away.”
“I don’t need it. I never want to drink tea made by you again.”
I snort and cross my arms. If I signal with my chin to go away, the maid drops her head deeply with a pale face and moves back.
“What’s wrong, Aliseteen? You’re making a fuss since this morning.”
“Okaa-sama.”
My mother appeared in the dining room with elegance. She had the same amber-colored long hair as I did, meticulously curled, and her dress had plenty of frills that elegantly swayed.
“The tea was warm, you see. So I kicked that maid out of the dining room and told her that I never want to see her face again.”
“Oh, I see.”
Mother looked at me with compassionate eyes as I angrily put my hands on my hips.
“You had a terrible morning, poor Aliseteen.”
“I know, right? It’s the worst feeling.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to fire that maid.”
After my three older brothers left for the boarding royal academy, Mother and Father started to dote on me even more than before. I became spoiled and gradually got used to that environment until I realized that I had become selfish Aliseteen once again.
Angry and displeased, I slammed the door to my room after being doused with water during my morning tea. I sat on an antique chair and sighed, slowly calming down.
“Oh…I’ve done it again, haven’t I?”
I twirled my long amber hair around my fingers, wiping away the tears that welled up in my eyes.
Even though I know it’s wrong, I can’t control my emotions when I get angry. Regretting it afterwards is pointless.
“Lili… I miss you so much…”
Lili, who was my stopper and conscience, was fired by Okaa-sama when I was ten years old.
And then I remembered. Why wasn’t Lili beside me before? She was fired just like before.
Lili was the only one who patiently scolded me, but the old me couldn’t stand it. Without her to guide me and tell me what to do, I became even more selfish.
I didn’t have any intention to fire Lili this time, but Okaa-sama, unable to bear seeing me getting too close to the servants, blamed Lili and fired her without my knowledge.
In the beginning, I cried every day and lashed out at those around me, unable to bear the loneliness of losing Lili.
And so, within these two years, I had completely lost control over myself.
“What should I do… even though there are only four years until that awful future.”
I hugged my knees and murmured while twisting all of my hair around my finger, making it curl.
This wasn’t supposed to happen, but it’s all Okaa-sama’s fault. What kind of a horrible parent would just fire Lili without my permission?
I had become accustomed to naturally blaming someone else for my current situation.
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