Chapter 174: I Believe I Can Explain That (3)
“Nonsense! You were only thinking about your own pain!”
Holding back the tears welling up, I struck at her upper body three times. My legs ached, so I couldn’t put much strength into it, but after repeating the three strikes about three times, the pain subsided somewhat. Meanwhile, she blocked all of my attacks. Thanks to me striking the scabbard on her thigh, her leg must have been hurting too.
“I’ve decided not to do that anymore. I’ve realized that others hurt just as much as I do.”
She stomped her right foot hard and charged at me, pushing her sword forward with her whole body. I had to back away from the vague attack, the intent of which was impossible to discern.
Her eyes immediately sharpened, aiming for my neck. This time for real.
“See! You’re trying to avoid it again!”
I gritted my teeth and moved my neck so that it barely grazed the trajectory of her sword. At the same time, I thrust towards her body. There was no time for tricks.
“I will treat you with sincerity. No more lies!”
After exchanging attacks that cut through the air, I once again lunged at her, slashing down, up, and across with my sword.
“There’s nothing to hide. No, there’s nothing to hide!”
She dodged the third strike, took a small step, and quickly slipped inside my guard. I presented my shoulder. Her shoulder, aiming for a body blow, collided with mine.
“You’re serious.”
“I am.”
She said.
“I waited.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Do you even know how foolish it was…… waiting day after day, thinking, will he tell me today, will tomorrow be okay…?”
“My thinking was shortsighted.”
Our shoulders, pressed together, were trembling. I couldn’t see her expression as her head was bowed, but her voice trembled as much as her shoulders.
“Did you distrust me that much…?”
“……”
“Did you distrust people that much…?”
I had nothing to say, even if she blamed me. I could feel the strength draining from her shoulder. Transparent droplets fell from her shoulder guard.
“I was sad. That I couldn’t be of any help… that you wouldn’t tell me anything… I was so sad, lonely, and foolish…!”
Clang!
The sword she was holding fell. Now she was standing, covering her face. I also released my sword. I grabbed her shoulders with both hands. Still, the trembling didn’t stop.
“I’ve never felt so… so powerless before…! You bad person…”
“I’m sorry.”
I pulled her shoulders towards me. And I embraced her, unable to control her emotions.
Ah, making a woman cry. I really am the worst kind of man.
It must have been the first time she felt like she couldn’t be of any help. That’s why she felt even more powerless, and that must have made her feel pathetic and foolish. On the other hand, she must have resented me.
But what she was actually doing was…
“The thought that I was… such a small person to you… It hurt. I thought that out of everyone… I wouldn’t be… I wouldn’t be… Sob!”
She must have been blaming herself for not being a bigger presence in my life. To think I left her alone like this, I would have nothing to say but sorry, even if she stabbed me in the chest right now.
I said that if I met the best woman, I wouldn’t even welcome the next life, right?
But what is this, Arisein!
I held her until her sobs subsided. In my arms, as if only here could she do so, she trembled and shed small tears.
How long did I hold her like that? She pushed me away, and I didn’t resist. She wiped her tears and composed herself.
When she finally lifted her face, her eyes were a little wet and the tip of her nose was red, but her expression didn’t look much different from usual. She was looking at me quietly, making eye contact.
“Risel.”
“Yes.”
My name coming from her mouth. At that moment, I realized how much I had longed for this voice. I had missed this so much, a situation that would have been commonplace before.
Her right hand, which had taken off her glove at some point, was stroking my left cheek. I felt the warmth of her hand. She and I continued to make eye contact.
The next moment, she hardened her expression with determination. And I gritted my teeth. Here it comes.
Slap!
Fire erupted from my cheek. Her hand, which had slapped and moved away, struck my other cheek with the back of her hand.
Slap!
A metallic taste spread in my mouth. Ugh, did the inside of my cheek tear? I was already prepared for this, so I just watched as she raised her hand again.
She raised her hand high, as if to strike me properly this time, and calmly met my gaze. She slowly lowered her hand.
She covered her right hand, the one that had slapped me, with her left hand and said to me, her eyes still filled with determination.
“Next time, I will never stand still. And at that time, I will come to you with my sword.”
“I understand.”
“Now tell me. Everything, without leaving anything out.”
The command came from the person who held the key to my soul. I decided not to resist that command.
But before that…
“Um, could you give me a glass of water? My mouth is a little…”
“Huh? Oh my, goodness. Was it that strong? Aila! Aila! Water! Bring some water!”
She looked surprised and worried. Sometimes she seems to forget that she’s the Sword King.
Levidian was clearly regretting it. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be sighing like that. She seemed to be struggling with the story that had easily surpassed the limits of what she could handle.
“So… you’re saying… that in the year 382, you… you’ll die…?”
“Well, that’s how it used to be. But it seems that’s not necessarily the case anymore. Marlin should have originally died, too. And my grandmother should have passed away last year. It seems death dates aren’t that strictly adhered to.”
“And that ‘used to be’ is actually five years from now… This is so confusing. So you’re saying that’s why Risel knew my weakness back then?”
“Yes. I was famous before I died. And the one who discovered it was Lea. And Levidian took Lea as her disciple, and in 382, Lea was one of the Eight Strongest on the continent, standing shoulder to shoulder with her master.”
Lea and Joey seemed to be experiencing a mental thirst in the desert of truth.
They seemed unable to grasp the concept that I knew things they hadn’t done and wouldn’t do in the future.
It’s understandable.
The realistic dissonance brought about by the phenomenon of Reset is something you can’t understand unless you experience it yourself, and even I have to put in a considerable effort to explain it.
“I think I’m going to faint…”
Levidian pressed her temples with a slightly pale face. Lea, lost in thought, looked up at the greenhouse ceiling, and Joey, with his arms crossed and head bowed, emanated an overwhelming sense of pressure.
At this point, I decided to conclude the story.
“In the end, I was able to meet everyone because I knew the future. I met you with the thought that you would be helpful later and dragged you into what I was doing. It wasn’t coincidence but inevitability, a manipulated connection. From the beginning, I had the intention of using you…”
“Stop there.”
“Joey…?”
Joey was looking at me with burning eyes. He was angry. Yes. That’s a natural reaction.
Joey said.
“You shouldn’t say such things, especially not you, Hyung-nim! That rainy night… I can’t forget it! You said you understood my situation and came to see me because you were worried. Are you saying you came to me like that… to use me?! Don’t be ridiculous!”
“Joey, I…”
“Your mouth may say that, Hyung-nim, but my heart doesn’t believe it! Back then, there was no lie in your words when you said you would show me the world! I believe it! Even if I wasn’t famous in the life you lived, even if I was just an ordinary bastard living in the slums of the city! You would have reached out to me! I believe that without a doubt!”
Joey cried out with a passionate expression. I felt a lump in my throat, overcome with indescribable emotions. And Lea, who had been lost in thought, opened her mouth.
“Well, I don’t think it’s bad at all. Thanks to you, Senior, I discovered the joy of martial arts, and my family is doing well. I’m grateful, not resentful. Even if you used me knowing I would become famous, so what? That’s your discernment. ”
“Lea…”
I couldn’t help but be moved by the words of my two younger siblings. I had prepared myself to hear angry shouts asking how I could do such a thing, but the time I spent thinking that way feels foolish.
Thank you so much, I can’t express it enough.
And finally, Levidian spoke.
“It’s not like I can be angry after I’ve already done all the blaming and hitting. I understand the situation now, so I’ll take my time to process it. I feel a bit relieved now.”
“Huh?”
“Relieved, I said. I can finally see what kind of person you are. I was curious because I could see you were hiding something, and sometimes I wondered if I didn’t know you well enough. But now I understand. You’re a good person.”
I was about to smile at her words, but her last sentence made me feel like the world was crumbling. I let out a deep sigh and said.
“You leave me speechless. I guess I was unqualified after all. It was fun while it lasted. As expected, it’s difficult to deceive people and have a happy ending. Levidian, you can find a much better man than me.”
“Does it hurt a lot where I hit you? Did I hit you somewhere wrong?”
“Unni, a woman calling a man a good person is high on the list of break-up lines.”
“Oh, is that so? I didn’t know. Anyway, that’s not what I meant. You’re a bit of a fool, but you’re someone who thinks of others. I like that even more.”
Ah, is that so? I feel like a fool for momentarily interpreting her words as a break-up line. Anyway, her words make me happy, but regardless, the problem between her and me is different from the others.
“But Levidian, the encounter between you and me, especially…”
“Stop there. What kind of logic is it to apologize needlessly after helping someone, saying you interfered too much?”
“Huh?”
“Let’s look at you and me. Back then, my swordsmanship had plateaued, and I was feeling discouraged, but you helped me with that. You knew beforehand? So what? That was your strength. And you awakened me to that. Knowing something intellectually doesn’t mean everything.”
She crossed her arms with a sullen expression. Perfectly portraying the look of a woman who realized her lover was a fool, she said in a blunt voice.
“I’ll let you in on a secret, Risel. Actually, I’m Sword King Levidian.”
“Huh?”
“I could form an army if I gathered all the men who tried to use me or play tricks on me. In my case, it would be a Royal Guard. Anyway, do you think I wouldn’t have noticed your ulterior motives? You looked at me with eagerness to learn, and you expressed your desire to become stronger and asked for my help. You have a habit of teasing me sometimes, but men will be boys, even as they get older. Do you think I put this ring on my finger for no reason?”
She showed off the ring that she never took off, using the excuse of the ring flesh. I was the one who gave it to her, but why do I feel like I’m the one tied to her?
She said.
“And the fact that you spent so much time thinking about this issue is also proof of your kindness. People with impure hearts keep devising lies and creating more lies to cover up their lies. But you spent a lot of time trying to convey the truth. For others, not yourself. Risel, do you know what your weakness is?”
“Wh-what is it?”
“You underestimate yourself. Lift your head and straighten your shoulders. Are you going to belittle yourself, when you’re the Sword King’s man? You can belittle yourself all you want, but what about us, who are dating the you that you think so little of? If you think highly of us, then think of yourself in the same league.”
Levidian’s words struck me like lightning. At that moment, the person I thought of was none other than Al.
A person who trains himself to reach greater heights to match the level of his friend. A person who strives to become someone who can proudly stand tall when his friend introduces him.
What he fears the most is being seen as insignificant and having Lucy be looked down upon as well when he introduces her as his friend. That’s why he hones himself, no matter what.
Levidian is right.
If I belittle myself, then my beloved friends are also reduced to that insignificant level.
“I see. I was wrong. I was really… foolish. Stupid.”
To think I wasted time on a problem that could be solved so easily, why am I so pathetic?
While I was contemplating my rather profound and historical concern, my own patheticness, Aila said.
“But everyone is surprisingly accepting of Risel’s words. I thought they would be more distrustful.”
“Seeing what Risel has accomplished so far, it’s easier to believe he knows the future. He knew too much to simply chalk it up to insight. I just thought he had a special method. Did you know, Aila?”
“Well, I was thinking it was about time he told us. I knew from the beginning.”
Not only me, but the others weren’t surprised by her words either. The three of us, excluding me, nodded in unison. Aila made a sullen face.
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