Reset Life – Chapter 15

KR Translators:

・StarrySkySailor
・KawaiiKage
・ImmortalInk
・KingPotato
・SugoiSenpai

Chapter 15: What Do You Expect Me to Say When You Ask Me That? (5)

That the child was the result of a three-day dream. That the oath he made when he married his wife was broken.

An illegitimate child he never intended to create.

“Father accepted the child. She died a few days after handing over the child. Father buried her in his heart, brought the child into the Dukedom while holding it in his heart. He kept the child hidden, avoiding even the eyes of the servants……and handed the child to his wife.”

Then a surprising thing happened. The Duke’s wife came to believe that the child was her own. Her mind, which had been in turmoil due to her lingering attachment and obsession with the child she had given birth to, became fixated on the new baby in her arms.

“The child……grew up as the Duke’s second son, unaware of the reality that less than five people knew the truth. He received the name Arisein and was called Risel.”

The night before I died.

Father called me as I was preparing to leave for the war and told me the story. My brother, who already knew the situation, was also there. They spoke to me with a far from favorable look.

“It would have been impossible to kill my wife’s child twice……but for the sake of His Majesty the Emperor, the Empire, and the glory of the Herduke family, do everything you can, even if it means sacrificing your life.”

“Hmph. You have to repay the price of being clothed, fed, and raised so far. Even if the price is your life, it can’t be helped.”

Father told me to die in the war.

My brother said it was only natural.

For 26 years of my life, I was not a son or a brother to them.

I was not family.

Right before I died, I was betrayed by those I believed to be my family.

The next day.

I became a few drops of ink on the list of the dead.

“My mother and sisters who consider me family. My father and brother who never consider me family. The emotions of people who are so contradictory. Knowing that I am an illegitimate child who will be abandoned someday, I couldn’t even fully reciprocate the love they gave me. Knowing that I am a child who will be abandoned someday, I couldn’t love them either. No matter how hard I try……I can’t escape this curse.”

I hugged my arms as if they were breaking. As if to tighten myself even more, as if to prevent myself from collapsing.

The more I recall the memories of that day, the more horrific feelings I am left with. When I realized that those I believed to be my family and loved were going to use and discard me as a disposable towel to polish and shine the family’s glory, I was as good as dead that day.

“They don’t know now. That I know the truth. When they find out someday, they will use me as a disposable pawn. I know that. The maddening coldness that has already been passed down to me……is intensifying as the years go by.”

If I stay like this, I will be abandoned.

I will be thrown into a situation that I cannot control.

“In the past……that happened. But whether it was fate’s help or not, I was able to start over. Of course, they still don’t know that I know about myself. But……I can’t think that what has already happened won’t happen again.”

I looked up at Jounin. Seeing him horrified by a reality that was difficult for a fifteen-year-old boy, however large he may be, to handle, I asked.

“Despite this, are you saying I can’t understand you? Your father will be different from mine. However……”

I trailed off. I took a breath to express my sincerity as much as possible. Ever since I learned about his situation, I had felt an unbearable sense of kinship with him.

I said.

Those words that truly contained my sincerity.

“You’re like a brother to me.”

Me in an untouchable mirror.

I broke the mirror and reached out my hand.

Just as I started over, Jounin can start over too.

If he wants……I will guide him.

“M, Me……?”

“Yes. We can understand each other more than anyone else. We are both illegitimate children……and we have both gone through the same thing. I got back up, and so I want to help you get back up too.”

“Brother……”

Thud!

He knelt down and collapsed.

Hot tears were flowing from his eyes. Was it because he was understood by another person for the first time in his life? No, it might be pointless to question the meaning.

Because I, too, was shedding tears.

“I……I……I never thought I could be understood by someone like this, sob!”

Jounin was truly a fifteen-year-old boy. Even if he didn’t look like it, he had a tender heart. The reason why this boy would become violent and a source of fear for everyone in the future was probably due to the harsh adolescence he went through.

That’s why he’s alone even after 10 years.

He might have to live his whole life as a loner.

If someone……if someone could have understood him, if someone could have shown him the warmth of a person, it wouldn’t have turned out this way.

Yes……let me show him.

Let me show him that there are people in the world who truly acknowledge him.

I wiped away my tears and extended my hand to him.

“Jounin, won’t you come with me?”

“Sob……Y, Yes……?”

“I know how frustrating, unfair, and resentful it is to be caught in a situation you can’t control. I think you know that too.”

“Sob. Y, Yes, I know……”

He nodded. Thanks to him kneeling, I could make eye contact with him. At the same eye level as him, I looked him straight in the eye and said.

“Yes. Rather, rather, if I could have controlled it even a little, I wouldn’t be so resentful. If I could have resisted, it wouldn’t have been so futile. From that pit of despair, I started over. Even though there haven’t been any proper results yet……I’m still confident. If it’s now, I won’t be defeated so easily!”

Terrible futility.

Emptiness.

The mud of despair clinging to my whole body.

Never again will I be like that. I won’t create a situation that I can’t control.

Rather, I will control everything!

I will rule my ‘time’!

“Let’s go together. Let’s show this damn world, that put us in a situation we couldn’t control, what we’re made of. I’ll show you the world. A world you can move with your own power.”

Jounin stared at me with a blank expression. Tears were streaming down his face, and a slight tremor passed through his eyes.

At that moment, a light flashed.

Rumble! Crash!

The world turned white and then regained its original color. After that momentary flash, determination appeared in Jounin’s eyes.

He wiped his tears with his sleeve.

“Is it……really possible? Is there such a world?”

I nodded. With utmost confidence.

“Follow me. I’ll show you. I won’t let you regret it.”

And I held out my hand in front of his face.

“This hand……holds a future with infinite possibilities. Take my hand. I’ll show you too.”

I will shape the future with my own hands. Even if I change the future, it doesn’t matter as long as I can control it. To hell with a life that ends up being pushed around by others.

I will create the future……myself.

So follow me. I will help you so you can do the same.

Jounin asked with a serious expression.

“Can I trust you?”

I smiled and said.

“You don’t have to trust me right away. However, no matter where you go in the world, there won’t be anyone who believes in you and can be trusted more than me.”

I smiled with a confident expression. And winked.

“If you want, all the flower shops in the Empire can be yours.”

Jounin’s expression contorted fiercely. He shrugged his shoulders and slowly lowered his head.

After a while, a burst of laughter erupted.

“Pfft……Hehe……Puhahaha! M, More than anything……I like that. Puhaha! Hahaha!”

He laughed truly heartily. A kind of laughter that swept everything away, as if all the resentment in his heart was carried away by the laughter and disappeared into the air.

After laughing for a long time, Jounin took my hand.

“Show me. I will follow you.”

“Indeed, can you keep up?”

I smiled, twisting the corners of my mouth slightly.

And finally, Jounin wore a confident expression.

It was filled with the determination to move forward anew.

“Just you wait and see. I’ll overtake you, Hyung-nim.”

“You’re confident. But that will be difficult, little brother.”

I gripped his hand tighter. He responded by gripping mine tightly as well.

Today, I gained a younger brother.

……But don’t hold on too tight. It hurts.

★⭐★⭐★⭐★

June 27, 372 of the Imperial Calendar.

The people of the delegation were surprised by Jounin’s fierce face and astonished by his age. Fearful glances were directed at him, but Jounin, who had never really stood in front of so many people, greeted them innocently.

“J, Jounin is my name. I apologize for causing trouble.”

Aren’t you being too timid?

Anyway, I decided to take responsibility for managing him. Since it was the Duke’s second son speaking, people seemed to give more weight to it. In terms of titles, I was actually the highest-ranking person here, so no one objected.

“Then, I’ll leave the rest to you.”

“Understood. I didn’t expect something like this to happen……It’s my fault.”

Baron Benken looked at Jounin, who was leaving, with regret. As a ruler, his heart must be heavy to see one of his residents leaving his hometown due to an unfortunate incident. However, it’s impossible to know the personal circumstances of each of the 5,000 residents. It couldn’t be helped.

Taking custody of Jounin became entirely my responsibility. I ended up managing his resident registration and identification documents for the time being.

Levidian, after learning the whole story, nodded with a satisfied expression.

“That’s good. A world as big and wide as his body suits him. You did well. I’m proud of you.”

“You flatter me. Whose disciple am I? Haha!”

“Oh my, you’ve become quite skilled. But that doesn’t mean the planned training intensity will decrease.”

She smiled brightly and said refreshingly.

……You’re a villainess.

Marlin seemed very uncomfortable with his appearance, but after I told her a little about his situation, she quickly warmed up to him. Above all, it seems she liked his innocent personality.

And the fact that he’s a child……

“As expected. You handled it well. Congratulations on getting a younger brother.”

She said with a knowing smile, as if she had expected it. I scratched my head and said.

“Thanks to your advice. But who are you exactly?”

“Oh my? You didn’t know yet? Sermaila Hind. Daughter of Baron Dakard Hind. I’m 16 years old, the same age as you, and my nickname is Aila. Anything else you need?”

“Not that.”

“Hmm, prying into a woman’s privacy is not very gentlemanly, Sir Herduke.”

She said that and then lightly walked towards her carriage.

It seems I’ll have to keep a close eye on her.

Our carriage felt instantly full thanks to Jounin getting on. Above all, the ceiling was too low for Jounin.

“Are you uncomfortable, Jounin?”

“Yes……I’m fine.”

Jounin said with a face that said he wasn’t fine at all. It seems I’ll have to modify the carriage soon, or buy a big enough horse to handle his size.

“We’ll be departing!”

It was time.

The coachman shouted energetically and cracked his whip, and the horses slowly began to pull the carriage.

In a week, we’ll be entering the Azot Kingdom. Before that, we’ll pass through the border city, but surely nothing will happen there, right? I unfolded the map and checked the place names.

Hmm. It’s the same as it was 10 years later.

“The border city ‘Edikinz’. Have you ever been there, teacher?”

“I’ve only heard the name. It’s the city where one city straddles the border, right?”

“To be precise……it’s two cities facing each other with a 2-kilometer border between them, collectively called Edikinz.”

Draw a straight line, and then draw a circle that is divided exactly in half by that line. Then, draw lines from about a quarter of each semicircle on either side of the straight line to divide the circle.

The straight line is the border, the circle is Edikinz, the lines next to the straight line are the city’s restricted access zones, and the remaining parts are the cities belonging to the Empire and Azot, respectively. The two cities, which can be considered evidence of the exchange and animosity that arose during the long history of the Empire and Azot, are best described as a miniature Empire and a miniature Azot.

Jounin nodded at Levidian’s words and said.

“I’ve heard of it too. They say that on the Azot side, they call that city ‘Kinchedin’?”

The origin of the city can be traced back to the Empire’s ‘Edi’ family and Azot’s ‘Kintz’ family. The two families, who had ruled the region for generations, created the city through a complex history.

However, the Empire puts the Edi family first when naming it, and Azot puts the Kintz family first, engaging in a battle of pride where neither side yields an inch. Honestly, I think it’s a childish fight.

I don’t know why they’re fighting over names, but it’s a kind of old pride battle, so I don’t really have anything to say about it.

Oh, speaking of names, I just remembered.

“Jounin, that’s your name, right?”

“Of course it is. Jounin Yuse. The name my mother gave me.”

“Do you have a nickname?”

“Ah, no, I don’t. I didn’t have anyone close enough to call me by a nickname……”

Jounin’s expression darkened slightly. I nodded, as expected. Even before I died, he only had modifiers like ‘Bloodthirsty’, ‘Human Crusher’, and ‘People-Kneader’ before his name. And those weren’t very good ones either.

I said to Jounin.

“So I thought about it, how about ‘Joey’? It’s a bit sad if you don’t even have a nickname after being born. I think it sounds good. Ah, what do you think, teacher?”

“Risel, you’re missing the point. What do you do if you ask me that? It has to appeal to Jounin first. Jounin, what do you think?”

“Joey……Joey……Joey……”

Jounin muttered the nickname I came up with with a blank expression. Then he suddenly grabbed my hand and said passionately.

“I really like it! A nickname……I never even thought about it! Thank you so much, Hyung-nim!”

“Y, Yeah. I’m glad you like it. Please take care of me from now on, Joey.”

“Yes, Hyung-nim Risel!”

Jounin, now the two-meter-tall fifteen-year-old I would call Joey, held my hand and wore a touched expression. Seeing that giant of a kid happy made me feel good about giving him a nickname.

Please take care of me from now on, Joey.

……But don’t hold on too tight. It hurts.

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