Ever had that moment where you’re just chilling in class, minding your own business, and suddenly BAM! Two dudes are trying to rip each other’s throats out?
Yeah, me neither.
Until yesterday.
It all started innocently enough. We were discussing our favourite anime (as you do when the professor’s droning on about something nobody understands). The usual suspects were thrown around – Attack on Titan, Demon Slayer, My Hero Academia, you know the drill.
Then it happened.
John, a guy who practically bleeds Naruto merch, casually mentioned Hinata as the ultimate waifu. Now, Hinata’s cool and all, but everyone knows you don’t mess with the classics.
Enter Mark, resident My Dress-Up Darling fanatic, who scoffed louder than a starving demon presented with a salad.
“Hinata? Sweet, sure. But have you MET Marin Kitagawa?” He practically yelled, eyes blazing with the fire of a thousand suns (or maybe just the reflection of his phone wallpaper).
And just like that, the waifu war began.
Round 1: The Stats Showdown
Things escalated faster than a shonen protagonist’s power level. Out came the phones, fingers flying across screens as they furiously pulled up waifu stats:
- Hinata: Loyal, strong (eventually), can cook up a mean bowl of ramen.
- Marin: Confident, fashionable, can rock a cosplay like nobody’s business.
They argued about everything:
- Power level? Irrelevant. This isn’t a deathmatch (yet).
- Cooking skills? Debatable. Can Marin even boil water?
- Character development? Hinata wins this round, hands down.
The classroom became a battlefield of passionate arguments and exasperated sighs. Some classmates joined the fray, while others (like me) just grabbed the popcorn and watched the chaos unfold.
Round 2: The “She’s-Just-2D-Pixels” Intervention
Realising this was spiralling into an existential crisis of epic proportions, our resident voice of reason, Sarah, intervened.
“Guys, seriously? They’re fictional characters!” she exclaimed, probably regretting ever befriending any of us.
But logic is meaningless in the face of waifu supremacy. John and Mark, fuelled by anime logic and teenage hormones, ignored her pleas and continued their heated debate.
They argued about:
- Relatability: Can you imagine Hinata surviving high school? Marin, on the other hand…
- Visual appeal: Let’s be real, animation quality plays a role.
- Overall Waifu Material: The ultimate deciding factor, impossible to quantify but everyone has an opinion.
The air crackled with tension, the smell of burnt popcorn filling the room (seriously, who forgot about the microwave?).
Round 3: From Zero to Fist Fight Real Quick
Then came the final straw. Mark, in a moment of pure, unadulterated fanboy rage, uttered the forbidden phrase:
“Hinata’s just a bland side character compared to Marin’s radiant personality!”
The room went silent. Everyone froze, eyes wide with a mixture of fear and morbid fascination.
John, his face a mask of pure fury, stood up so abruptly his chair clattered to the floor. It was like a scene straight out of an anime, complete with dramatic zoom-in and tense music.
Except this wasn’t anime.
This was real life.
And real life punches hurt.
The Aftermath: Detention Never Looked So Good
I won’t bore you with the gory details (mostly because I blacked out from secondhand embarrassment). Let’s just say the professor’s lecture on the French Revolution was abruptly cut short.
John and Mark ended up with matching black eyes and a week’s worth of detention. As for the rest of us? We learned a valuable lesson that day:
- Never underestimate the power of waifu loyalty.
- Always keep snacks on hand, just in case.
- Maybe next time we’ll just have a civilised debate on best girl, emphasis on “civilised”.
The waifu wars might be over (for now), but the scars remain. And by scars, I mean the mental image of John and Mark rolling around on the floor, fuelled by nothing but anime obsession and teenage angst.
I need a new classroom.
And maybe a therapist.
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